Your Reinvention Roadmap: It’s Never Too Late to Rewrite Your Story- 53

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Marli Williams [: 00:00:04

Well, hey there. What is happening? Welcome back to the Let's Lead Together podcast. For this week, I will be interviewing and hanging out with Corliss Rassyle, who is a phenomenal motivational keynote speaker. She is a professional coach for women who really are looking to reinvent their life. She is the author of the Lead Your Life book, and she's just a phenomenal human being. And today, she is on the podcast sharing her reinvention road map with all of you and really helping anyone out there who has felt stuck in a rut or overwhelmed in their life and really how to reclaim your leadership in how you are showing up for yourself and knowing that you can reinvent your life and your story any moment that you choose. I cannot wait to dive into this powerfully transformational conversation with Corliss. Let's do this.

Marli Williams [: 00:01:10

Hey, everyone. What's happening? I am super stoked to welcome you to the Marli Williams podcast, where we will explore authentic leadership, transformational facilitation, and how to create epic experiences for your audiences every single time. I am your host, Marli Williams, bringing you thought provoking insights, expert interviews, and actionable strategies to unlock your potential as a leader, facilitator, and speaker. Thank you for joining me on this journey of growth, transformation, and impact. Let's lead growth, transformation, and impact. Let's lead together. The Marli Williams podcast begins now. Let's dive in. Well, hey, everybody. What is happening? Welcome back to the Marli Williams podcast where I get to hang out with my new friend today, Corliss Rassyle. And we're really excited today to talk to you all about how do we reinvent ourselves? How do we reinvent our lives? So, Corliss, welcome to the show.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:02:14

I'm so thrilled to be here. Thank you. I love your energy. I love your podcast. I've listened to a few. I'm quite excited to share this space with you, so thanks for having me.

Marli Williams [: 00:02:22

Thank you so much for being here. For those of you who haven't gotten to meet Corliss yet, she is a phenomenal motivational speaker. She is the author of Lead Your Life book. She's also a podcast host and an amazing coach, and I'm just so excited to get to, like, learn a bit more about you, your journey, your story, and how we can help people. You know, one of my taglines is helping people go from stuck to stoked. And what we were just talking about around, like, how do we get unstuck in our lives when we realize that we are and really see life as this constant evolution and opportunity to reinvent ourselves in our life. So I would love for you to just share a little bit of your story, your background as we dive into this conversation of what really brings you to this work that you do today.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:03:17

Oh, I love it. Man, I got a long story. I won't bore you with the whole thing. But I have a few minutes to share on this and that reinvention is a constant process. And it's not something that happens just at a certain age. It's like you're constantly reinventing yourself, and you should. It's being engaged in learning. It's really, you know, recognizing, like, what is this feeling that I have within me that feels kinda stuck and I'm not really fulfilled and I'm not lit up with my life.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:03:44

That's when you know it's like an indication that it's time to, like, rethink it and to start doing something different and to start asking yourself, what could my reinvention look like? The other thing is that you should start right here, right now, right where you're at. A lot of people just wait. They just wait for the next thing or it's like, I'll be happy when or, you know, I'm gonna look forward to that and that's when things will be going. But you know what? None of us know. We have no time to waste. My big wake up call happened in my forties where all of a sudden I felt like I woke up for real. I was like, jeez. I'm in my forties.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:04:17

Time is going so fast. My kids are growing up. My career isn't as fulfilling as it once was. My marriage happened to end at around the same time, and it was like all of a sudden, it was like, what? Like, who am I now, and what's this all about? That's kinda led me on the journey of starting my company, and my own reinvention really started in my forties. Because when all that went down, I realized there is no time to waste. I have to step up. I have to make some choices. I have to take the lead on my own life, and it's not up to anybody else to do it.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:04:47

It's up to me. The problem was I didn't know what it was gonna look like. I honestly had no idea. I didn't even know what I wanted anymore. I felt like I had kinda just fallen into the life, and there was lots of good things and some not so good things. But it was like, here I am. I don't even know what I like, what I enjoy, what I do. I had just been kinda going through my life.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:05:07

And I often say that life was leading me instead of the other way around. I was just getting up every day. I was just kinda doing the same thing I always did, keeping busy for sure. But it was like, I think there's a little something more. And that's when it was like, no, no, no. It's up to me. I have to make some new choices. What's this gonna look like? And I kinda went back to the drawing board, and that's where it began and where I help other people begin to.

Marli Williams [: 00:05:32

I love what you said around this idea that it really is up to you, You know? And this idea, like, getting to this point of, like, no one's coming to save me. What do I want? This question, like, what do you really want? As coaches, I'm sure we both ask our clients that question. What do you want? And most often people say, I don't know because we haven't actually spent time thinking about it because like you said, we get stuck sometimes climbing the ladder, going through the motions, then getting to a point in our life where we're like, well, now what? And sometimes, you know, there it's like life will shake us up or we will shake it up. That moment of realizing, oh, like, all of this is happening to me. Like, life is happening to me versus, like, it's up to me.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:06:24

Life is happening for me. Instead of to me. Sometimes we can play victim to it for sure. And it's interesting that you use that exact quote that you did that no one's coming to save me. I have to tell you a story around this and you're gonna love this story.

Marli Williams [: 00:06:35

Yes. I love it.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:06:36

I'm 40 years old. I turned 40 years old. I have three children at this point. I'm living in my dream home. And we had just built this dream home. I'm in my marriage. I've got three kids. I'm doing the life.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:06:48

So on the outside, life looked really successful. I mean, we kinda had it all. I had a successful career, married, beautiful family, dream home, all the things. And, you know, I didn't have it all. And I knew I didn't have it all. I was pretty unfulfilled, pretty unhappy, didn't feel lit up. I mean, my kids brought me joy. My work brought me joy, but not the same as it did.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:07:09

You know? You're just kinda in that stuck place where it's like it's just not great. And I didn't choose it, but it happened where one night just everything kinda went down and my marriage ended and I knew it was over just kinda in one day, and it was like it was official. And I remember driving away from my dream home thinking, I don't know what's ahead, but I definitely know I'm leaving behind the life that I knew. And I, you know, had to land on my feet with my kids, and the process was long because I was going through a difficult divorce, and I ended up living in a two bedroom apartment with my three kids. So I want you to kind of envision this. So I have three children. One's a teenager. She needed her own room.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:07:52

She needed her space as teenagers do. So she had a bedroom. My other two, I bought them bunk beds, and they would go to bed, sleep in the in there. So, obviously, there's not a bedroom for me. So I used to make my bed on a mat on the floor every night in the room with the kids with the bunk bed, and I used to just lay there and think, like, what? I did not expect to end up here. I was working a business from home, so converted the closet office, or I co converted it to a closet office. You know, where you usually have, like, an apartment sized deep freeze? That's that that little space in an apartment. I put a desk in there in my computer, and that became my home office so I could close the closet door behind me.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:08:33

I the chair couldn't even turn in there. I just barely sit in the chair and, you know, so I have a picture of that. I have one picture of that. And I used to sit in that closet office for real and feel really sorry for myself. I was I played victim of that for a while. I was like, jeez. You know? I didn't expect to be here. Suddenly, I'm a single mom.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:08:52

I don't have my things. I'm living in this, you know, crappy little apartment. My business is failing. My life is failing all over the place. And I would play a victim to that. I don't know if you know the song, the fight song. I joke about it quite often. I joke about it now, but it wasn't funny at the time.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:09:09

I used to sit in there drinking a glass of wine, listening to that song, the fight song, trying to muster up the courage to make an explosion. And I feel really sad. And, you know, it was years later, my kids said, we used to hear you crying in there, mom. It was a really hard time. And then one night when I was sitting in there, it was probably six or seven months in already, like it had been quite a while, like I played victim way longer than I wanted to to my own life. A screensaver came across the screen, because I had this motivational screensaver and it said, no one's coming to save you. And for some reason, I took that like a message direct to me. I just really and I was like, you know what? Your kids are looking you to lead them through this.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:09:50

They're scared too. You are, but so are your kids. Your life is not gonna change unless you change it. So, yes, some things have happened that have landed you in a place you don't wanna be, but it's up to you to pull yourself out of that. And that was the day, honestly, that I decided to lead my life. And that's why my book is named what it is because that's what I decided that day. I decided to take charge of my own life, that it wasn't up to anybody else to do it, that there was things I could learn, that I had to reevaluate the decisions that landed me there, and the choices that I had made, because really, it it was my choice. A lot of my life was my responsibility and I needed to own that.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:10:30

So that's what I did. And, you know, that became a pivotal moment of change for me. And after that, when I started kinda thinking, okay, what do I really want now? It was this bizarre change, this thing that happened. It was like, I describe it in my book that when you go to flip a light switch, you know how it's like the electrical surge and all of a sudden you have lights? I flipped the switch in my own mind from I'm, you know, so sad. I don't know what I want. My kids are growing up. My marriage is over. My business is failing.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:10:58

And then I flipped the switch in my own mind and I was like, wait a second. My kids are growing up, which means I have more time. And for me, my marriage has ended, which means I have no one to consult. I it's totally up to me what I want to do now. I have more experience on my side now. Jeez, if maybe this could become exciting that this could actually be the next chapter of my life. And I'm young enough still and in good health, thankfully, to be able to take this and use it in a beautiful, purposeful way. So I was like, I'm gonna lock onto that.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:11:32

I'm gonna I'm gonna shift that. But I still didn't know what I wanted. So I started, when I say I went back to the drawing board, I started by slipping through magazines, trying to create a vision board. That's where I went, and that's why I tell everybody to do that. Challenge yourself. So I started flipping through these magazines, and tears were running in my face because I couldn't think of one thing I wanted. It was like all my hopes and dreams are gone. I thought I'd have this beautiful happy family and this dream.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:11:57

All I have had all those things, and no I don't. What's it gonna look like now? And then there was this little tiny ad, and all it said was first after 40. And that inspired everything. Because then I was like, you don't know what you want because you haven't thought about yourself for so long. You were doing the same thing that you always did, building your career, looking after your kids, looking after your home, looking after your husband, looking after you don't even know who you are or what you want anymore. So then when I saw that little ad and it said, verse after 40, I was like, oh, maybe this stage of life could become about me. Maybe I could start trying some things for the first time and see what I like. And I went from sad to excited.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:12:39

I even felt a little bit of excitement. I was like, oh, b. I learned to play the piano. Maybe I'll go surfing. Hey. Let's learn Spanish. So then I started getting all excited. I could show you the vision board if you I honestly, I have it.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:12:53

It's right over there.

Marli Williams [: 00:12:54

I love it.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:12:55

It's still over there. And it really made me so excited, and it just kinda changed it around. And I started flipping the things around in my own mind to start thinking that life could be exciting again, And that maybe it'll happen for a reason and for me.

Marli Williams [: 00:13:09

It's so powerful, like, to reclaim, you know, like, love the word reclamation. Like, how do we reclaim our the circumstances in our life? And, you know, how do we acknowledge and honor, like, the crumble, what we thought our life was going to be like? Because it's a it's almost like we have to let go of who we were to become who we want to be. But there's this, like, kind of old narrative and old story and old version of us that, like, I think so often people hang on to, well, I thought that that's what you know, I did all the things. And, again, this, like, illusion, you know, on the outside, it looked like I had it all. I had it all together, I had it all figured out. And then when things fall apart, there can be a lot of shame. And you said something that I think is so so important to am I willing to take responsibility for my life and for every decision I've made to be wherever I am right now? Because our life, wherever we are right now, is based on all of the decisions we've made up until now. Right? So and some of those, you know, good, bad, hard, and, you know, like, it's not about making those decisions wrong either or it's not about making ourselves wrong.

Marli Williams [: 00:14:28

It's just like, okay. Can I take responsibility? What can I learn? And how can I use those lessons to fuel me forward versus staying stuck in should've, could've, would've because, like, we can we can also go down that rabbit hole? And at that point, again, this idea of, like, I have this choice to reinvent. It's like, what is the story I'm telling myself about what this means right now? Because it could be, like, for me, I had it all. Now I'm in this crappy tube bedroom apartment. I have no idea. Like and we have to feel the feelings. Right? So that's it's not about, like, overriding the challenge that comes from life shifting in a way and that was unexpected. We have to go through that grieving process of, like, letting go of the again, this old version of ourselves because we can't just go from, like, oh, I'm getting divorced and, like, here we go.

Marli Williams [: 00:15:26

Like, you have to feel the devastation of that and choose in that in that moment, like, again, to pivot and to to choose to have a path of reinvention. And I love what you said, like, that this reinvention roadmap of when people find themselves in this place. And I think sometimes it happens kinda to us, and sometimes I think one of the hardest things for people is, like, life can be good. Like, I one of the things I say is you don't have to, like, wait for your life to suck to wanna change it. Like, we don't have to hit, quote, unquote, rock bottom in order to reinvent ourselves, in order to reimagine our future. And I appreciate what you said. Sometimes that's really hard to do if you have been focused on everyone else for so long. This moment of, like, I don't even know who I am anymore or what I want or what I like or what I value in this idea of, like, do I even like Mexican food or was I just eating that because that's what my partner wanted? I don't know.

Marli Williams [: 00:16:33

So it's like, well, what do I want for me now? And that's a whole new way of being and living that that can be, like you said, hard, but also exciting.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:16:43

Oh, yes. Oh, yes. You bring up so many good points in this, I have to say because well, there's a couple things I want I wanted to say. The healing part is the part of the story that I don't often talk about. So I'm really glad you brought that up. I had to heal myself. It just didn't happen overnight. So when I say I kind of played victim to it, I did.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:17:03

And what I mean by playing victim is that I wasn't looking for I was sad. I was sad. I was sad. It was the end of hopes and dreams. I wasn't really grieving the end of the marriage. The marriage wasn't good. I was grieving I had worked so hard to keep my family together and to build that life. So and it and I had hopes and dreams.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:17:22

Right? So I was playing victim in the way of I wasn't taking responsibility for it fully, but it also was because I needed to give myself grace to heal that. Like, I it was I was hurting. I hurt. And I had to I was in counseling and I was doing all these things to grieve. It was a grieving process that I went through. And luckily for me, it didn't last for years. And I think at one point or another, it's not that we should deny our feelings, we should never deny them, and we should do the steps to heal ourselves. But at some point or another, you have to say, that's enough.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:17:57

And that's what happened that night. That's enough. You know what? This isn't how you wanted it to go, but you have to own it. And here's the process that I walk people through in my work. So as a coach, I you know, I'd shared with you before we started that I am a coach through and through. I remember sitting with Jack Canfield in his house. Jack Canfield with Chicken Soup for the Soul. I've worked with Jack.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:18:20

I'm one of his trainers, our success principal trainers, and I said to Jack, so what am I? I remember looking at him and saying, so am I a coach or am I a speaker? Am I an author? Like, what am I? I said he was gonna tell me. Right? And, anyway, he looked at me and he which one do you like doing the most? And I was like, you know what? I feel like I'm a coach everywhere I am. Even when I'm on the stage, I feel like I'm really coaching people to, like, reflect and asking them questions because coaches bring out the best in people, and they don't give the answers. Coaches encourage people to find their answers and kinda dig a little deeper. Right? So even when I'm on the stage, I feel like I'm doing that. And in this space right here, I wanna share two things. The first one is, I'm not famous for this quote, but it is a quote that I want you to if you could write down a quote, it's this one. The past doesn't define you, it's prepared you for what's next.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:19:14

I am a % convinced that everything that happens in our past can be used for a purpose. So all of your past experiences, all of your mistakes, so to speak, all of the lessons that you've learned, all of the skills that you've accumulated, all of those things, when you use them in a powerful way to see it's made me who I am and it's prepared me for what's next, And I can use this for a purpose. I can use it to shift my life and reinvent myself. I can use it to help somebody else. And when you own that, it's really quite a beautiful thing. It because it makes you it puts you in the driver's seat in your own life to realize everything that happened didn't happen to you, it happened for you. And now you have some choices because it's made you this who you are. I can't say that I loved what I went through.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:20:06

I didn't. I didn't. It was a hard period of my life. Even, you know, the last few years of our marriage were really, really difficult. Everything shook up. I was bored in my career. I was not happy in my marriage. Like, I was barely I was barely hanging on.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:20:20

I had very, very low self worth and really felt bad about myself an awful lot and felt like I was failing. And it was like all those things happened, even the career that I was doing. But if that hadn't happened, if that shakeup hadn't happened, it could not have led me on the path that I am here. To be sitting here with all of you, to be speaking to people, to be coaching people, to be inspiring people, to helping them dream again and reinvent their lives. There's no way. If I would have stayed in the life that I had, there's no way I could be doing what I'm doing now. So it all happened for me. It prepared me for who I am now and for a purpose that's ahead of me yet.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:20:57

And that's how I want everyone to kinda see their lives. It's like, reframe that. It wasn't a mistake. It wasn't. It happened for you. And it's now put you in a position of, like, look how strong and resilient you are. Look at what you learned through that. And now how can you use that to move forward?

Marli Williams [: 00:21:17

Yeah.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:21:17

The process that I walk people through is to own your story, to, like, own your truth. Just own it. And the second step, embrace your power. So what do you have power over right now, like in your life? So it's own your story, own your truth, embrace your power, what do you have control over right now? How can you use this? And then fulfill your purpose. So it's you have to own it, your past, embrace it to be in your present, to move forward in the future in a purposeful way. And when you kinda reframe that and you put it all together, it's possible for any single one of us to restart our lives right where we're at anytime you want. Anytime you have the power.

Marli Williams [: 00:22:01

Yeah. Sometimes life happens that forces us into that. And sometimes, again, we get to a place where, is there more out there for me? Like, we're sitting with some of those questions. We feel that whisper or that calling on our heart, and we're like, but life is fine. It's not that bad. I should just be grateful for what I have. Right?

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:22:27

And We try that. We try, but it doesn't work, does it?

Marli Williams [: 00:22:28

It doesn't work. You know? And I I think what you said is so important. Sometimes we can make our past wrong. Like, oh, I can't believe I wasted so much time with the wrong person or in the wrong job or in the wrong city or whatever it is. And it's like ever I I love that idea that everything we've been through, every moment in our life, every person we've met has prepared us for what is next and has given us those gifts. And I think so often we don't look for the lessons, look for the gifts, look for the insights, and really help us for us to see how that can fuel us to move forward. And if we don't learn from our past, we're just going to recreate it. If we aren't willing to say, like, what were the decisions I made? Where did I lose myself? Wow.

Marli Williams [: 00:23:21

It was like one decision at a time where I didn't honor my own needs in my next relationship. I wanna make sure that I honor my own needs. But I I have to you know, by owning my story, it's like I can look back and say, like, I did the best I could with what I had at that time. And now I know new things and I have new skills, but you look back and you're like, how did I not see those red flags, or how could I have let myself do that? It's like everything you know, we know something different now than we did before. Right?

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:23:54

%. I had to really forgive myself. Maya Angelou's quote told me, When you know better, you do better. You know? It's like I know better. So meeting up on yourself does not change anything. It really doesn't. And worrying about the future, it doesn't. It doesn't.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:24:08

I had to learn that the hard way. I still had to catch myself and say, you know what? As soon as you know better, you do better. And I've really started to kind of embrace the idea, that's part of my reinvention process, that I use the best that I can right now, like, with what I know right now. I mean, I'm sharing this with all of you right now. Interview me again in ten years and let's see. Maybe the conversation will change because I'll learn something different. But based on where I'm at right now, I'm doing the best I can with what I know, and what I'm sharing is a % what I've learned and what I realized, and that's just based on who I am. But here's the thing.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:24:41

We have no time to waste, my friends. When I started my company several years ago in my wake up period, I realized that so many people are waiting. They don't question they're wondering the purpose of their lives, like, do I really matter? What's my purpose? Am I even important enough to have a purpose? If you're lacking self confidence or self esteem, you're not gonna feel like you have really purpose. That was certainly this the case for me. And then something happens, a loss, a job loss, you know, someone dies that they love, they have a health crisis, something happens, a tragedy strikes, and all of a sudden they wake up and they go, what's this what's life all about? Right? And my mission starting my company was I really wanna wake people up before that has to happen. I don't want those things to have to happen before they wake up. If you have this little feeling inside of you that you feel kinda dead inside, you're like, is this all there is? You're asking yourself those questions. Is there something more? What's next for me? Like, if you're asking yourself those questions, if you're like, oh, I've always wanted to do that, but I never did.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:25:54

Those little knowings you call them whispers, they're there for a reason, and they're gonna keep coming up over and over again until you listen to them. You have to stop and pay attention and listen to them because you've stuffed them down and you keep pushing them down and you keep convincing yourself, oh, I can't do that or it's not realistic or I don't have the support or I'm not smart enough. You keep telling yourself all those things, but it's not gonna go away because it's not supposed to. You're being called. You're being called by that whisper, and you need to stop the attention to it and say, what is it that this is trying to tell me? This is sitting in my heart of hearts. What is it? Because you go if you want inspiration, I'll tell you. You search on any of the platforms, YouTube, TikTok, Instagram. You search, death doula interviews, people who are dying, hospice nurses.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:26:51

You go and you interview that, and all of them have the same thing. I wish I would've. I wish I would've. I wish I would've. They have regrets. I wish I would've done this. So my goal here in this conversation and pretty much anybody who's looking to reinvent themselves and to kinda take the lead on their lives is to really help people understand you can answer your own wishes right now. Like, leave it all on the table.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:27:15

Live your life backwards. When I get to the end of my life, I wanna look back and I wanna see these relationships that I created. I wanna see the dreams that I followed. I wanna see the choices I made in the truck and feel really proud of myself, not like I wish I would have.

Marli Williams [: 00:27:30

I think we both have that in common. And what the thing that I just wrote down was honor the whisper. Can we acknowledge that that is something that it's so easy because it's like it's it can be really quiet, but, again, it's not going away. But life can be so noisy, and we can distract ourselves with all these things. Like, not right now. Maybe later. Maybe when the kids are grown. Maybe when the job is the thing.

Marli Williams [: 00:27:57

You know? When I have this much money or when I have the house, then I'll do the thing. And like you said, we never know. We don't know how much time we have. And like I say, one of the things I like to say is, this isn't a test run. This is it. This is your life. Like, show up and play full out. And like you said, when we get to the end of our time and we look back on our life to say, I freaking did it.

Marli Williams [: 00:28:22

I went for it. I took the risks. I took the leap. I put myself out there. I honored the whisper that said, go to Bali. I honored the whisper to get on that stage or to hit the record button or to make that phone call, Like to do to quit the job. To like live your life. Live your life.

Marli Williams [: 00:28:47

You know, and not live someone else's life. But your life. Right? And knowing part of this too, is like cultivating this deep sense of knowing and self awareness of like, do you know who you are? Do you know what you value? Do you know what is important to you? And does your life reflect that? Right? Because times we know our values. Oh, I value community and family and adventure and, love or whatever it is. Right? And when you think about what are you what is your what are your days and your weeks and your months look like? And how much time are you spending inside of those things that are important to you? Right? And I think really giving yourself that gift of asking yourself some of those questions and getting to know yourself and following the whisper, following the curiosity of saying, like, I'm gonna give it a go. I'm actually reading a book right now by Adam Grant called Hidden Potential. And one of the stories is, like, all these people that became really good in anything was that they were willing to make mistakes and mess up. And they honor the progress and the effort, not just the outcome.

Marli Williams [: 00:30:07

Because sometimes, anytime we're, like, doing something new or trying something new, it's going to feel uncomfortable, or as I like to say, fun comfortable. Well, like our brains are hardwired to keep us safe and right about the things that we believe about ourselves. Meaning, if we've always been in a shitty job, that feels safe to our brain. So, we don't even know what is it like to have a job that I love. I've always been in a meh relationship. That actually feels safer than like someone who's gonna treat me really well. People are like, I don't know how to handle that. Because anything that we've been through is familiar, and that is what our brain is drawn to.

Marli Williams [: 00:30:55

So it is really about, like, how do we rewire our brain for I say our brain is hardwired for, you know, safety and survival, not possibility and performance.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:31:08

We also make it harder than it needs to be. A %. The programming well, at least that's been my experience. Yeah. A lot of what you're saying, like the mindset I mean, how you think is everything. It just is. It's gonna create it's your life, actually. It's gonna create your life.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:31:25

And, you know, as you were talking about, do all the things, go to Volley and do all of that. I literally remember thinking, I wanna do all those things. I wanna live full out. I want to not waste time. I do. I was listening to speakers. I was listening going all these things and doing all the personal growth, but it's like, I can't. It's not even realistic.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:31:45

I had so many limits in my own mind about what was possible and not possible because my old past was like, I don't have the money. I don't have the there's no way I can do that. It's like I was so shut down that I couldn't even think outside of it. And I wanted it. Don't get me wrong. So if you're a listener and you're like, I really wanna do all those things. Yeah. I wanna live below it.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:32:06

I wanna do it. I know I don't wanna get to the end of my life and have regrets. I want you to spin it around and start thinking, what if I could find a way? Just start challenging yourself. So oftentimes, like, it's I call it the two word question. What if it doesn't work out? Okay. Now I want you to write down, what if it does? What if I can't do it? Oh, but what if I could? See, one puts you in the limits and the old way of being. The other one puts you into possibilities. So it's instead of what if, what yeah, what if in like a negative light of like limits, and then you switch it around and start kind of focusing on that.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:32:52

So what if I start my business and it doesn't fail? What if I start my business and it does? So switch it around and just start asking yourself those questions. And when you start asking yourself those questions, you'll start to find solutions. You'll start to see things a little bit different. And what happens is you start to tell your brain, wait a second, maybe there is a way. Maybe I could go to Bali. Maybe, maybe I could. I was hosting, like a national event, and it was a big deal. Like, it was a massive undertaking.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:33:26

It was it was bigger than anything I'd ever done in my life. I felt bigger than what to do it. I just knew I was supposed to. And Jack Canfield was actually gonna he was accepting coming to be one of my speakers. Now when you go to hire, like, big names like that, like, price tag's big. And I was funding this myself as well. So that was the other thing. Not only was I producing it and creating it and had the vision to do it, but I was funding it.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:33:52

So there was a lot of pressure. I mean, I am still to this day a single mother or independent woman. I was letting you know my own. There's there's no backup here. It's me. And I was, re okay. So on the Thursday, Jack accepted that he would come and speak, and I was beside myself. I was like, oh my gosh.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:34:12

But I needed to sign the contract, and I was stalling. I was so scared to sign the contract. Once I signed it, this was happening. Like, you know, they say shit. Shit.

Marli Williams [: 00:34:21

It's like it was all in. All in.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:34:23

I was like, this is this is happening. Right? And there was three major speakers like that, so it was all kinda happening at once. And it was Friday, and I emailed them and I said, listen. I'll have a two by Monday. And I sent these emails and said, I'll sign the contract, like, I'll have it to you by Monday. And I was like, universe, please, God, someone tell me, is this what I'm supposed to be doing? Because I am scared out of my mind right now. And I was like, this is such a huge risk for me. So I was like, on the weekend, you're gonna give me a sign so clear that I cannot miss it.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:34:56

Like, that's what I was like, it's happening. You're giving me a sign. So that was on Friday. Sunday morning, I'm still in my pajamas. I'm about to, like, open my curtains. My coffee's brewing. I'm about to get started. And I go over to open the curtains and, something stuck to my foot.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:35:14

And I was like, what the heck? What is that? So I bend down to pick it up and not even kidding. It was a Soul Truth card. Now I own those cards, so the Soul Truth card, but the cards were in my office across the house in a box, like, not even so why this one random card was literally on the living room floor? So I picked it up, took it off my barefoot, and it said, what if it was easy? That was that was the card. And I flipped it over, and it said, are you making it harder than it needs to be? You are getting all kinds of signs. And so, I mean, I can't say it verbatim, but basically, it was like, are you making this harder than it needs to be? You're getting all kinds of signs. Like, basically, what else do you need? And I was like, this is crazy. I asked for a sign, and you put it on a card and stuck it to my foot. So I it wasn't even Monday.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:36:09

I hadn't even had my copy. I went over to the office and I was like, sign the dang contract, Corliss. So I signed the contract, sent them in, and I was like, that's it. We're supposed to do this, and the signs are there. And it's like, everything was falling into place, and I was the one that was making my heart. I was the one who was overthinking it. I was the one who was letting fear take over. Now I'm not saying, you know, don't, like, take you have to, like, think about it and not take risks and be reckless and things like that with your finances or your business or whatever.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:36:38

But I had done all of that. It was me that was scared. I was just so scared to make the commitment. It's like, who am I? Imposter syndrome crept in. I was like, just stop. Just stop. Stop. Like, it can be a little easier.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:36:51

You don't have to make we make it so hard ourselves. At least that was my experience.

Marli Williams [: 00:36:56

I love that story so much, and it reminds me of Joseph Campbell and the hero's journey where he says, when you follow your bliss, doors will open where there once were walls. When we honor that calling on our heart, I always say, like, our ideas are our intuition, like, speaking to us and through us. Can we honor them? And it's like, as we take action in service of that vision that we have that like, things show up. And our number one job is to believe in that vision, to believe in ourselves and allow those things to, like, show me. Like, show me how, like, how it can be easy. And I remember having a very similar moment right before I left my full time, you know, quote, unquote, steady stable job at the university, little, you know, the golden handcuffs. I was in this, like, beautiful college town. I had a job that was, you know, based on my master's degree working with students.

Marli Williams [: 00:37:56

Like, for the most part, again, things were good. They weren't terrible. But I felt this, like, calling on my heart that there was something I was meant for more. There was something more out there for me. I was here to make a bigger impact. And I remember having this phone call with my friend, Michael, who's an amazing coach. And I was like, well, you know, I've never done this before. Like, I haven't sold a thing in my life.

Marli Williams [: 00:38:21

I've been in education. I've like and I'm literally selling me, like, as a speaker, as a coach, like, my time, my knowledge, my energy. And I was like, well, what if what if I don't, you know, again, what if it doesn't work out? What if it's hard? What if I fail? And he just stops me and he says, Marli, what if this is the easiest thing you've ever done? Just like the what if quite like, what if it were easy? And one of the things that I did was how do I the question that I love to think of is and what I did for myself was how do I make success inevitable? So knowing what I want is like, okay, I wanna be a professional speaker. I wanna be a coach. I wanna do these things. I hired a mentor. I hired a coach. I hired I I joined a mastermind to help me.

Marli Williams [: 00:39:10

Like, it was specifically, like, how do you sell coaching? It was all about sales. And I literally I remember I was still in my full time job down at the end of the hallway in a classroom on the phone with someone who wanted to work with me one on one to do coaching. And I just used the script literally word for word that this woman sent me. And in that moment, I booked a 2,000 my first ever $2,000 coaching client, like, out the gate, and I hadn't even left my job yet. And it was just like and then there was all these moments and, you know, working in higher ed, I maybe made like $3 a month. In my first month in business working for myself, I made over 10 k. First month. And it and to me, it was just like the universe giving me this, like, giant high five.

Marli Williams [: 00:39:56

I was saying, like, you are doing it. Like, you took the leap, you trusted yourself, and I didn't do it alone. So sometimes we put a lot of that pressure on ourselves to figure it all out by ourselves that makes it harder. Right? Like, it was like, what can I do to make this easier? Great. I've never sold a thing. I'm gonna have someone help me do this. I've never been a professionally paid speaker. I need a coach to help me navigate this world of professional speaking.

Marli Williams [: 00:40:26

So it's like I always say success leaves clues, and there are people out there that have done what you wanna do probably. You know? And you can find free content on YouTube about how they've done it. You can hire people. You can pay people, you know, depending on financially what you can afford. But I just think we also aren't oh, we're not no one who you see out there who is has massive success got there alone. They had people You can learn everything. There's always the way.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:40:58

There is. And the resources are all there. It's just up to you. That's where the responsibility part comes in. Yeah. So take responsibility for the resources are there. If you don't know how you can learn it, If you need inspiration, it's there. Like, what is it? So listening to the knowing, honoring it, and then what comes up? Like, I don't really know how to do that.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:41:22

Okay. What do you need to learn? You know? So then you start seeking the resources and the sources that can help you. I know a big one for me, though, and I I don't know I I'm feeling very much that I need to just say it because there's probably somebody listening that needs to hear it. The identity part of it. We have a certain identity of who we think we are, what we think we were we're worth. I always felt like I wasn't enough. I just really did feel that. And there was lots of different things that happened in my life that confirmed it over and over and over again.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:41:55

And I was like, I'm not enough, so I've gotta prove myself. So a lot of the outward stuff that I did was because I was trying to prove something. Because internally, I just didn't feel like I was. So I had to seek it. I didn't know where to seek it. So I was seeking it from outside validation and outside successes, and I was chasing all of that. My biggest learning curve in up leveling my life, I suppose, is recognizing that that old identity of me is not gonna serve me into the future to fulfill any sort of purpose. I'm going to need to change how I view myself and recognize how valuable I am, that I am here for a purpose, that what I have to say matters.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:42:36

And that comes through, like, really healing that part of me that said, I'm not enough. That no longer I require that from the outside to actually really have it. Because it didn't matter what I did on the outside. It didn't matter what I succeeded at. It didn't matter what people said. None of that mattered because I could only take it on the surface because I didn't feel it inside or past that. It wasn't until I really started working on understanding myself and where that came from and why I felt that way about myself and why I thought I wasn't good enough. Here was my pattern, actually.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:43:09

I can tell you exactly. Right up until LEAD Conference Canada, honest to goodness, I would go like this. At the not outwardly, but in my brain. Okay? So, like, my internal conversation would be like, you're not enough. K. Try harder. So then you try harder. You keep doing.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:43:25

You do all the things. You push way past the limits and see it's still not enough. Still not enough. It's like, nope. It doesn't matter what you do. It's never gonna be enough. That was the pattern. And it was like, why do I feel that way? I remember sitting on the stage.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:43:42

It was the wildest thing because Christina Kuzmic was one of the guests there, and she is just honestly, I've spent so much time with her now. She's spoken at two of my events. I was a fan of her before. That's why I was couldn't believe that she accepted to come to my event. And then I got to spend all this time with her and she is, like, superhuman. The woman is as awesome as it gets. She really is. And we were sitting on the stage doing an interview, and I said to her, she said, have you given yourself credit for, like, what you've done here? And instantly, I felt like, no.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:44:15

I said, yeah. You know, I've tried to. Everybody's telling me how great it is, but, like, why can't I feel it? I said that to her on the stage in front of everyone. And she said to me, yeah. Why is that? And then we went into this big conversation, and what I realized was that feeling of not enough didn't matter what happened outside of me. Until I healed that part of myself, nothing was gonna feel fulfilled or, like, I was good enough or that it was good enough, whatever I did. So I said to her, I feel like I'm having a counseling session right here on the stage in front of everyone. This is so far.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:44:50

And everybody laughed because I was like, this is not expected. It was as candid as it got, but it really shone a light on it. And that's the thing going back to what you were sharing earlier, and I loved what you said. It's like it keeps coming up over and over again. When these things keep coming up in our lives, whether it be a good thing or, a little hope or dream or these little whispers or, like, why do I feel this way? Gosh, I've been through this already. It's just shining a light on it for you to look at it. That's it. It's like you just gotta look at it again.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:45:20

And sometimes times these things are, like, so deeply rooted that it might have to come up over and over and over again until it's fully healed. And give yourself a space to, like, explore that. Like, continuous learning, that's part of reinvention. It's like, what's this all about? Why is this happening again? This is here again. Gosh. Instead of beating up on yourself about it, say, there it is again. I'm gonna go to another level of understanding this. Why is this happening? And when you do that, I promise you, you'll get through it.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:45:49

You will find something so beautiful. This inner peace within you will just be it'll just start to explode out of you, and you will love your life on a whole other level. And that's what I wish for you. I really do.

Marli Williams [: 00:46:02

Dropping the mic over here. It's so good. You know, I love that, you know, when people say, well, who who the hell am I, right, to start this business, to be a speaker, to put on this event? And I love the, you know, talking about how we ask questions. It's like, well, who the hell am I not to? And Right. I I know in in my heart of hearts that if you have a calling on your heart to build something, make something, create something, that there is someone else out there in the world that needs your magic, your medicine, and your gifts. And so to me, one of the things I say is I say, don't be a hoarder. Don't hoard or hide your magic. If you have medicine that can heal, help, and serve, it is selfish of you not to share that.

Marli Williams [: 00:46:54

So thank you for sharing your magic with all of us today here on the show. Where can people find you, learn more about you and your work and the world and your all the goodness?

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:47:07

Yeah. Head to my website, cordless.c. That's the best place to go. And, actually, I have a free reinvention road map on there. So it's the place that I help people get started, kinda to get dig a little bit deeper into yourself. There's questions there. There's reflection things there. The questions that I was actually asking myself when I was going through my own reinvention in the time of my life when I needed to, but I still do that.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:47:27

I'm, like, constantly, like, what else? What's in my heart? Or, you know, what's next? Like, who am I really? Like, those questions are such big questions, and they'll kinda help you on a a path. I called it the road map because it really is. It's like a road map. Where do I even start? That's where you start. So start there. So Corliss.Ca. And, of course, you can follow me at Corliss Co. So Corliss Co.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:47:46

So Corliss Co. People think it stands for company, but it actually well, it does, but it doesn't. Co is all the things that we do here in my company. So Corliss Co. So we have conversations, we have coaching, we have conferences, we have community, we have connections. So it's all the things that we do here, and that's what Corliss Co is. So if you look for me, you'll find me at Corliss Co and on LinkedIn at Corliss Brazil. And I I hope you will because I'd love to connect.

Marli Williams [: 00:48:12

I love that. Well, thank you for the beautiful gift of that road map because I think, you know, this question of, like, where do I even begin this journey and providing a framework. And I invite each and every one of you who are listening to go check that out, to grab a journal, go to a park, go to a coffee shop, light some candles, and sit with these big questions to really get clear on what it is that you want in your life to own your story and to embrace it and to help use that as fuel forward as you reinvent yourself in your life. So thank you so much for being here today. Such an honor, such a gift.

Corliss Rassyle [: 00:48:52

I had been on many podcasts. You are an incredible host. I felt like I was talking to my best friend. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you. This is wonderful. Thank you.

Marli Williams [: 00:49:03

Such a blast. Fast friends. Well, I look forward to many more meaningful conversations. And to all of you out there listening, I hope that you go out there and reinvent your life and use these tools that we've shared with you all today. Until next time. Take care. Thank you for joining us on another inspiring episode of the Marli Williams podcast. We hope you're leaving here with renewed energy and valuable insights to fuel your leadership, coaching, and speaking endeavors.

Marli Williams [: 00:49:36

I'd love to invite you to subscribe, rate, and review this podcast to help us reach more aspiring leaders and speakers like you. We have more exciting episodes and remarkable guests lined up, so make sure to tune in next time. Until then, keep leading with purpose, coaching with heart, and speaking with conviction. This is Marli Williams signing off. See you next week.