Tools & Practices to Regulate Your Nervous System -54

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Marli Williams [: 00:00:04

One of my favorite quotes says that the most powerful person in the room is the person with the most regulated nervous system. And this week, my guest, MEgan Moseley, is going to teach us how to do just that. She is a body mind integration therapist and the owner of Bodywise Coaching and Consulting. And she is here today to help us really understand what it means to not just be a human doing, but to be a human being, how to understand our nervous system, and how to shift out of that fight, flight, or freeze, and really into a state and a place where we can reclaim our sense of self and our power and our presence. So this is a episode not to be missed. I cannot wait to dive into this amazing and thoughtful, thought provoking conversation today with Megan. So let's do this. Hey, everyone.

Marli Williams [: 00:01:06

What's happening? I am super stoked to welcome you to the Marli Williams podcast, where we will explore authentic leadership, transformational facilitation, and how to create epic experiences for your audiences every single time. I am your host, Marli Williams, bringing you thought provoking insights, expert interviews, and actionable strategies to unlock your potential as a leader, facilitator, and speaker. Thank you for joining me on this journey of growth, transformation, and impact. Let's Lead Together. The Marli Williams podcast begins now. Let's dive in. Well, this week, I am hanging out with MEgan Moseley, who is the founder of Bodywise Coaching and Consulting. She's a body mind integration therapist, being this coach, and authentic leadership consultant.

Marli Williams [: 00:02:04

Megan, welcome to the show, my friend.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:02:06

Thank you, Marli. I'm so excited to be here.

Marli Williams [: 00:02:09

Mhmm. Thank you so much. And I know that we've connected in different ways at the Energy Exchange, and you've gotten to share a little bit of the work that you do in the world. And one thing that I'm really excited about diving in with you today is really about how do we regulate our nervous system as leaders, as coaches, as parents, as partners in a world right now where we might be getting activated, as people like to say, or triggered by by the news or by our kids. Like, there's a lot coming at us, and this is, like, the work that you do in the world. I know you've spent decades really kind of, like, researching and creating your own methodologies of how we can regulate our nervous systems. I would love, before we dive into that, to hear a little bit more about you and your journey and your story of really kind of what brings you to doing this body mind integrative work with folks.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:03:11

Oh, yeah. Thanks. So my journey started long ago as a physical therapist. So I've been practicing PT for thirty five years. And really with focusing on this idea of being very holistic, like bottom of the foot to the top of the head and really trying to, like, really be, like, the whole system kind of a thing. And I love that work. And when I turned 40, I was at this place in my own life where I'm like, I've done all the things. Right? I followed all the rules.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:03:40

I hop through all the hoops. I work super hard. And I'm like, I'm just not really happy in a place. And I was married and I was like, one of the things that needs to change is this relationship. But also just kinda really feeling like, what am I bringing? Who am I? How do I look at this? Right? I just feel like this was so universally co-created in that I asked somebody and I just tripped into an opportunity to work with this woman who is a somatic psychotherapist. And so it's like body centered psychology, and I really was unaware of what that meant at the time. Right? But I went in and kind of in classic fashion, like, I, like, ripped in there on a motorcycle, like, not a second to spare. And I walk in, and she's like this very demure, quiet woman.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:04:24

And I'm like, you know, here's my life story in five minutes or less, and what can we do about this? And she's like, let me just talk to you about how I work, and I do this embodied mindfulness work. And, like, within five minutes, like, I was in tears. I'm like, I'm here. Right? And so that was my first introduction to that. And I worked with her for about a year and just really started to understand how, you know, our nervous system and our bodies hold our history. You know, that book, The Body Keeps the Score, it is true. So to really look at not how am I cognitively rewiring myself in a way of being like, I should do this differently or I should act this way. It's very much like, how did these ways of my perception of the world get wired in? And how do I shift that to shift into really coming more and more into the alignment of who I am as a being? As I started doing this work, I just started realizing, you know, I was surviving my life every day.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:05:20

Surviving it pretty successfully, right, from the outside, but I wasn't really, like, being in it and living it and feeling the, like, the juiciness of it. So in doing that work, I just started kind of intuitively integrating that into my way of being with my own clients, and it just started to evolve. And after a year or so, she said, you know, this training is up, and I think you'd be great at this. And so I started studying. Like and I as I showed up, like, I'm the only one there that isn't like a psychologist, psychiatrist, counselor, whatever. But, like, I'm bringing this embodied piece in. And one of my mentors, I love him, he's like, I don't know what you're gonna do with this, but it's gonna be really cool. And it's been so cool to move from you know, I studied Hakomi.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:06:07

From there, I've gone on and studied a program called Recreation of Self. These are all different, like, somatic psychology frameworks, way of kind of languaging and being with people, internal family systems. And so I started integrating all of that stuff in. That next piece led me into an opportunity to study with David Berceli, who is the founder and creator of trauma release exercise. Have you heard of that? Mm-mm. You know how all animals do this thing. Right? Like journey, it will just like

Marli Williams [: 00:06:35

They, like, shake it off. Right?

MEgan Moseley [: 00:06:37

Shake it off. Yep. And that that's a that's a reflex that all mammals have. But humans have a cognitive brain that kind of layers over the top. Right? So we think we're top down creatures, and we're not. So we dampen things. Like shaking is pathologized or shaking, we feel, like, makes us feel weak. So we try to, like, hold it all together.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:06:56

Right? And so I help people induce this reflex. And what it is it's a very strong parasympathetic reflex that your body starts to literally shake things off, and it starts generally lower in your body. But as that happens, it is not the first thing I do. And so I will say, just don't look at this on YouTube and try it on your own. It's very, very powerful. But what it does is I would equate it to, like, letting the water out of the stream, and then you see where the boulders lie. And it's like, oh, that's what happened to me. Right? And the critical around this, Marli, is, like, approaching anything like this, whether it's the TRE or EMDR or psychedelics or whatever it is, that we're approaching these kind of histories and traumas and stresses of ours from a place of having some level of resource in ourselves.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:07:47

So we're able to see this happened to me. It's not who I am. And that's what this is all about, is really coming home into this is who I am. So we're creating and cultivating safety in our beingness. Right? I call that, like, that parasympathetic nervous system state. It's our state of being where we're where we feel safe. Right? Be ourselves. And, you know, there's there's a lot out there that you can, you know, read about or hear about, like, well, you know, you're not running from a tiger, so just let it go.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:08:21

And it's just not that easy. Right? When our systems are are in we might not understand, you know, and because our nervous systems, you know, are developed from from the time we're zero to six zero to seven, sometimes our six year old is driving our life.

Marli Williams [: 00:08:37

It's so true. And I I really appreciate, you know, all of these weaving in all of these modalities, right, and understanding the physical body so well, right, as a physical therapist, and then weaving in, like, the mental psychology into really, like, the such a powerful practice. And it you know, I appreciate what you said. Like, don't try this at home because it is it can bring up a lot and having someone hold that space energetically for you to move through that and process that. You know, one of the things that I heard in a in a training that I went to really around understanding somatics was they said, the most powerful person in the room is the person with the most regulated nervous system. Hands down. And I think as leaders, we get in and, you know, I one of the things that is, like, life will life us. Things will happen.

Marli Williams [: 00:09:28

Things will come up, whether that's social media or running late or having to speak in front of a room of hundreds of people. Right? We're put in these situations that can activate our nervous system. And what you're saying is, like, we can't always think our way out of it, right, with just, like, these mental models. And while mindset is important, it's understanding, like, wow. You know? When it when I think about so many people come up to me after talks, and they're like, wow. I could never do that. Like, public speaking is my worst nightmare, my biggest fear. And it's like, I'm nervous too.

Marli Williams [: 00:10:08

I'm always nervous before I talk, and I've learned how to regulate my nervous system so that it's not off the rails, and I'm not because it's like there's a certain amount of adrenaline that can help us show up and perform as athletes or performers. It's like and there's a certain level of adrenaline where we, like, totally shut down and blackout because we, like, have no where our heart is pounding so fast and our hands are sweating and we have no cognitive function. Right? So it's learning. It's not about not being nervous. It's not about not being scared. It's like, oh, how can I learn some of these principles and practices so that I can come back to myself? And you said something else that I think is so powerful. How do we create safety within our body and our like, to be fully who we are in the world? Exactly. You know? Because I think so often we're walking around the world, like, is it safe to be me here? When we walk into a meeting or a room or a gas station in a small town, is it safe to be me here? And how can I how can I cultivate that sense of safety from within and not need it from anybody else? So when you start this work with people, like, where do we begin this journey? Right? When we're sharing this with our listeners, maybe they're in a state where they're activated or by life.

Marli Williams [: 00:11:36

When someone comes to work with you, where do we begin the process? Where do you begin the process with them of helping them? You know, I think that the this piece of how do I cultivate the sense of safety within myself and learn how to regulate my nervous system when I feel flooded or when I feel under resourced or things are feel crazy and we're just into life. We're not intentionally being able to, again, stay calm and grounded and connected and show up in the way that we really want to.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:12:06

The key is even as in approaching this. Right? It's like, it's not about the technique, and it's not about doing something. And it's certainly not about doing something in the moment. Right? Because the key to this is creating a a foundational shift, a reservoir of resiliency, a place of safety being yourself so that you can trust. Yes. Something goes wrong. And you know what? I'm gonna be able to spring out of that. I can I can handle that? Right? And the way that that has to get cultivated, and I think that that's an important thing, is that it's a it's a practice.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:12:40

And there's so much science around the idea of micro practices. And there's a ton of science around the power of embodied micro practices. So when we think about, like, I talk a lot about getting your gut, heart, and head on the same team. Right? So you're really physically embodying what I call authentic alignment. And you can really rewrite your story of how you're showing up in the world. But this practice is, like, two to three minutes, three to five times a day. Right? And it's done. It's not a lot of time, and it is so worth it because what you're doing in that is not just, again, a technique.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:13:19

There's so much science around the power of micro practice and especially embodied micro practices. So it's different than just being like, oh, just pause and take three breaths or kind of try to quiet your mind. It it's very much around if you can what I talk about, like, getting your gut heart and head on the same team, you get your the wholeness of your being to show up to really, like, get involved and rewrite the story. And there's multiple practices. Right? So I think that the key is to do these, like, two or three minutes, three to five times a day. And similar to the way that, you know, stress accumulates in our life, in our system, right, and we we end up, like, having, like, the tapping out our tolerance, and the end of the day is when you, you know, snap at somebody or something happens. Right? Just like that, the sense of cultivating beingness when you do what these call I call them be knee breaks. And be me is an acronym in this framework that I created around really understanding your nervous system through the realms of your body, emotion, mental, and essence.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:14:17

And so when you do this be me break, you're, like, literally pausing. You're valuing yourself. You're coming back home. You're checking in, and you're like, this is what it's like to be myself right now, safe here in my body. What do I notice in my body? Oh, my shoulder's just relaxed. You know, what happened to me emotionally? Oh, gosh, I actually feel a little bit more expansive. Mentally, oh, that's just a tiny less judgmental or more quiet. And the most important one, Marli, is the essence, right? Essence, right, of who we are.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:14:48

I mean, like, I like myself. I believe in myself. I have compassion for myself. I feel connected to myself. So we're kind of like naming these little things in this be me break. And I and I and I say that they're kinda like these little bubbles of beingness. And similar to stress stacking up in our lives, by doing these micro practices, like, they really land in us. And we're like, oh, I just downshifted myself.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:15:12

And you do another one later. I just downshifted myself. And they're cumulative in a way that over really not very much time within a couple of weeks, the feedback that I get is that people are like, oh my gosh. That used to send me off the rails, but now I'm like, I just feel like I can witness that over there. I'm not getting triggered or usurped. Right? And we end up remembering that being is who we are. It's not just that little moment that we visit from time to time. Right?

Marli Williams [: 00:15:41

Yeah. And I appreciate it. You know, like, these little micro moments, like you said, where we can reconnect with ourself. And you said something about, you know, this work isn't necessarily about what we do when we're activated in that moment. It's what we're doing regularly and consistently, like you said, to create that foundation of safety within yourself and taking these micro like, doing these micro practices to reconnect, knowing that, like, it yeah. And the feedback of, wow, all of this stuff that's happening outside of me, outside of my control isn't activating or triggering me as much because I feel like I've it's like I I think about it. It's like reclaiming our sense of self and control over how we show up in the world and what we it's like what we give our energy to as well. It's like we can have better awareness around the things that are popping up or the things that impact us or the things that affect us.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:16:44

Well, and I think that you can look at that, like, in this framework that I use is, like, the there's the there's the be me realms of experience. Right? And how we feel in any of those realms at any moment is dependent on what I call the gear that you're driving your life in. Gear one is our is our parasympathetic, our nervous system of being. If we really feel safe in ourselves, that's where we live. Right? And the goal is that we really wanna operate out of that more of the time. But what you're saying, you know, the idea of kind of being able to function in whatever in whatever setting. And these practices, I will say, are very effective in the moment if you have a background with them. Right? But you just, like, be like, oh, I heard this podcast and Marli had this girl on there, and she said do this thing.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:17:28

You cannot pull it out of a hat. Right? That's not gonna be effective. Right? But I think when we look at, like, when our nervous system is geared up into a gear two, you look at what happens in the mental realm, like, you can't focus. You don't have concentration. Rather than being like, oh, I'm an anxious person. It's like, no. I'm having some anxious moments here or I'm disconnected from myself. So really looking at how do I optimize? Not I don't think control, but optimize how I'm able to show up moment to moment to moment in a way that I feel like my energy is here.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:18:04

We're activated in a higher nervous system state. It's we're looking for safety, so our energy is outward. It's some degree of hypervigilance or paying attention. Right? Or if we get up into that gear three mode, that's where we freeze and fold and collapse, and it's like, I'm just not even getting out of bed today. And noticing that this is a ladder of experience. So if we get activated, our first is fight, flight, or fawn, and fawning is that people pleasing strategy, right, that kind of just fitting in. Those don't work. We go into that freezer fold, and that's where, you know, to come back out of that kind of collapse almost feels like a little anxiety producing right on the front end because it's water and it's more aliveness.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:18:47

So I'll just put that out there. Right? That, like, if you're feeling like, oh my gosh. I just, like, have had it and I'm overwhelmed. And then as you start to move back out of that through any practices that you choose to participate in, there might be some spark of, like, what feels anxious and to just name, like, that's my aliveness. That's my system working for me. That's me coming back online. Right? And it's like and I wanna keep going to where it's like, I get to put this this stress into, you know, like, a good stress where it's like, it's enlivening me. I'm able to show up.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:19:20

I can concentrate. I can focus. I can flow.

Marli Williams [: 00:19:24

Yeah. I love that. I think that that's so powerful. And I know that you kinda walked us through it, but I are you able to walk us, like, what, what this micro practice could look like for someone? Absolutely. Listening of, like, I love, like, tangible, practical, like, this is something that you could do, like, right here, right now, on the podcast, and something yeah. Like, could you guide me through?

MEgan Moseley [: 00:19:46

Absolutely. Do you wanna you wanna do one? Let's do let's do it. My he's now my favorite. It's called authentic alignment.

Marli Williams [: 00:19:52

Okay.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:19:52

I'm gonna talk you through it. I'm gonna talk you through the physical part first. And, I really love the standing piece, but I'll talk you through the sitting first because people might be sitting and you wanna be able to use this anytime. So you're thinking about just, like, from the physical sense of, like, coming up onto the tips of your sit bones. So we tend to sit and we tend to get, like, a little bit, like, you know, we kinda get a little bit slumpy. So if you think about this isn't about, like, fixing yourself. It's not like getting yourself in posture. Don't even, like, don't even worry about any of this.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:20:21

But just think about if I take my pelvis and I rock up onto the tips of my sit bones, so the two bones on the front of my pelvis point forward on the horizon, it lifts my whole body up into this alignment. And when you're balanced on the tips of your sit bones, can you feel that just that subtle little bit of connection to your core? Like, it's it has to balance you. Right? And then take your hands and turn them palm up by your side, and then just gently spin them out to the side, and you can you feel how that wraps your shoulder blades back? Yep. And at the same time, Marli, stay connected to this place between your ribs. So a lot of times when we're, like, really trying to open up our shoulder blades, we give this out. This is our essence. This is our connection. This is our sense of self, our will.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:21:04

Right? So we wanna stay connected to this as we open the shoulder blades. So you have this sense of, like, oh, okay. I can really feel that work in my back, and it opens up your neck, and you can feel tall from the top of your head. Okay? So that's the physical piece. Alright? So let's go into standing and I'm gonna walk through it from your feet. And as we do that, before we stand, I'm just gonna mention, we talk about the idea of alignment, like there's alignment in ourselves, but I think it's a bigger picture and how we when we come into alignment with ourselves and this important thing of kind of like standing for ourselves and what feels right and what feels important and all of that, sometimes that can feel lonely as leaders. Right? And so to know that you're never alone because when we're in alignment with our core selves as beings, we are in alignment with the universal imperatives. And as we stand in that, as we, like, plug into that, I'm gonna say those, and I'll just offer that you just notice, like, yes.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:22:03

That's what I want in my life. Yes. That's important to me. This is who I am, and you might even have a physical reaction to it. But but I'll talk you through the the, imperatives and also kind of, like, the story that we're telling ourselves with the body language.

Marli Williams [: 00:22:14

Love it. Let's do it. If you're able to stand while you're listening, you can you can follow along.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:22:24

Just start off and think about like, as you as you go through this, like, you're not doing anything. So don't feel like you have to fix anything. Don't like try to have good posture. Like, let yourself get really relaxed and kind of almost like noodley, right? Yeah. Yeah. And then just as you're ready, you're gonna just find your feet and we're gonna build this up. This is a foundational practice. So really allowing yourself the ability just to come and be here.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:22:51

Land on your feet. A lot of times as leaders and everything, we tend to be ahead of ourselves on our toes. So notice that might be true. That might be where you're living your life. You might find yourself like in a in a reflection as you walk down the street, like way ahead of yourself. Right? So, like, really inviting yourself to shift about 60% of your weight into your heels and then plugging in the front of your foot. So if you think about your 60% of the heels, then you're reaching down the the big toe ball mount, and you can feel your foot start to get alive and there's a little bit more work. This is the first way that we're supporting ourselves.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:23:27

Right? And we're literally plugging in. So you're inviting yourself to come home into yourself like I'm worth being here. I'm worth staying with myself, standing for myself, and we're plugging in to the imperatives. So just notice what lands safety, love, connection, truth, integrity, wholeness, rightness. Like, yes, that's right. That's true. Beingness, overdoing, belonging, worthiness, freedom, empowerment, harmony. And just notice whatever you plugged into, whatever you're drawing into your life, you're like the whole rainbow or one in particular, Bring that energy up into you. At your knees, we tend to lock our knees out. Let your knees be just unlocked. They're just soft.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:24:27

Right? So this is this expression of like I'm springy. I'm resilient. I can take anything that comes my way. As your attention comes up to your pelvis, think about your the flashlights on the front of your hips, those bones facing straight forward on the horizon. Right? So there's a sense of, like, your hips are forward and your tail is pulled under just a little bit, so you can start to feel the sense of, like, oh, you can start to feel your core get active. Right? And this is a sense of, like, I'm supporting myself. I'm stabilizing myself. I'm connecting to my core.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:24:59

I trust my gut. Right? Whatever story feels right for you, you could don't have to use my words. Right? And it's as if this like connection and and to yourself kind of comes up like an elevator up your from your pelvis to your ribs. And imagine that at your ribs, your elevator doors close. As leaders, we are so often like taking care of other people, feeling like it's our responsibility in a heavy way, not the response able, which is what we want to be, but this place of like, let me do that for you. Let me take care of all of this. Right? So we tend to like pour all of our energy out and I'm just suggesting that this is the most important part, right? That we stay connected to ourselves. We listen to ourselves.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:25:38

We stay committed to that. Right? And then back to this place where we're gonna start to, like, just gently wrap the shoulder blades back and, like, this is where I'm, like, spreading my wings from. Right? I've got my own back. And as you do that, you can feel like the sense of like opening here. Right? Courageous vulnerability. I'm open hearted. This is how I want to lead. Right? All from this place of staying connected to that essence space.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:26:00

Notice how this gives the space of your neck is long and open. So I can speak my feelings. I can say what I need. I can stand up for what's right, right? Holding your head high. Like I am connected to myself, proud of myself staying here, standing here, And then eyes are forward on the horizon, whether open or closed. It's like, this is me in my sense of connected beingness. I am present. I am here now.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:26:26

I have a wide perspective. This is where I'm living from, leading from, and I trust myself in this. Yeah. And then you just let your arms just drop back down and just kind of just hang on to that for a second, that felt sense of, like, wow, the aliveness, the connection. And I'll just let you kinda speak to your experience about what you're noticing, what that felt like for you.

Marli Williams [: 00:26:49

Yeah. I think that, you know, it's so powerful, like you said at the beginning, just the messages that our body can give our mind. So often, I think we do that in the opposite way. Like, we we talk a lot about mindset and thoughts and beliefs and just, like, standing, like, feeling my feet on the earth, like, whole it's like the thing that comes up for me is, like, I got me. Yes. Right? Like, I have my own back. Right. I could show up for myself.

Marli Williams [: 00:27:20

I can lead from, like, a really grounded, connected place, not from a place of scarcity or fear. But it's like I'm it's kinda again, it's like reminding myself, like, I'm safe. And that alignment in my body of just, like, you know, in all of those different, like, pieces, like, moving from the earth and then coming up from there, it's just like this yeah. It feels more solid. And I think about, you know, how often as leaders, we're, again, in kind of, like, more reactionary mode because we're just, like, we're derailed. We're distracted. Like, we're kind of, like again, we're off balance or we're out of alignment. And so this taking that intentional time to pause and, again, it's like, this isn't a two hour situation.

Marli Williams [: 00:28:14

It's like, you know, to take a couple minutes, a few times a day to, like, center and ground and come back to ourselves so that we can you know, one of my mantra is, like, so that we can show up and serve more powerfully, more effectively. You know? And you have some stuff in here of, like, you know, you're more innovative, you're more creative, you have you're better able to respond to what's going on.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:28:40

And I love that idea of, like, you're response able, which is, like, very different than this weighty sense of, like, I'm responsible for everybody. Right? Vaughn's able. So as you're saying, like, these things come up, and I got all these things to handle. And if you can be in this place of, like, trusting your beingness and being, like, bring it to me. This is your highest power and your greatest potential to be, like, this is the right decision. Right? That you're not, like, scattered. You're like, This is what feels right.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:29:08

You really have your gut, heart, and head on the same team. You're really checking in with that. Right? It's way more powerful. And what you're saying about the most powerful person in the room is the one with the with the regulated nervous system. This way of leading is what creates psychological safety. This is what makes other people on your team feel safe to show up. This is what inspires. This is what is, like, collaborative and creative and compassionate.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:29:38

Right? And this is what this is where we need to go in leadership. Right? Like, this kind of no more top down management stuff. Like, this is where we really need to be moving from. And it's so healthier for us as leaders too. Right?

Marli Williams [: 00:29:52

And, you know, it's like, I think so often, you know, we hear these words, like, I wanna create psychological safety with like, for for other people within my team or organization or my clients or whatever it is. Right? And I think, like, the question that comes up is, like, do you feel safe Exactly. In yourself? Mhmm. Because often, if we don't do this, then we're showing up. And, again, more of that reactionary mode where we're maybe short or, you know, curt with people or, you know, not acting from a a very, like, maybe kind place sometimes. And then that creates disharmony and people not feeling safe in around you. So it's not again, I think leadership so often, it's like what we do out here, you know, or what we do like, how are we build team building and doing all of these things, which is great. Again, this kind of, like, inside out framework of leadership of, like, how am I leading me? How am I showing up for myself so that I can be the best leader, you know, in myself, for myself, for my team? That, like, leadership is so often seen as this external outside thing that we do versus leadership is, like you say, you know, it is who we're being.

Marli Williams [: 00:31:14

And the more connected we are to ourselves and we feel aligned, I love what you're saying. It's like, then we create safety around us.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:31:24

It's magnetic. It really is. It's back into, like, the nervous system regulation. And as you're saying, like, when we're not in that place, there's, you know, tendency to be short or snap or whatever. I think it's even bigger than that, Marli. I think it's like it's when we are in a place of feeling safe, where we actually it's palpable when we're authentic.

Marli Williams [: 00:31:43

Right. People can feel it.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:31:44

People feel it. It's magnetic. Right? And it's not over the top. I I call it quiet power. Like, it's graceful. It's just present. It just is. Right? All of the universal powers, just the is.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:31:56

Right.

Marli Williams [: 00:31:56

There is no proving.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:31:58

No. No. It's just a matter of, like, I'm here being myself, and I'm willing to be like, wow. I just I just made a mistake on that. Right? And to own what we didn't do right. Right? That that offers other people to be like, oh, wow. You don't have to be perfect. Right? We actually really get to show up.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:32:17

And the more safety you cultivate in the rest of the group, like, you know, as I'll share this whole be me chart. When you are regulated in this gear one, that's your in flow. You can focus. You're creative. You're I mean, like, all of the things that we really wanna have come out of our whatever work we're doing together starts with beingness.

Marli Williams [: 00:32:39

I think it's so powerful and such great reminders, you know, whether you're, like, leading a family and you're a parent of, like, if your kids are acting all crazy, it's like coming back to ourselves of, like, where am I at emotionally, and how can I use some of these, like, micro practices? You know? And, again, I think that it's just like I think about we can't shower once and expect to be clean forever. Right? So it's like it's seeing this as part of, like, our almost our leadership hygiene or our leadership. It's like, what are your leadership practices for how you're showing up for yourself on a daily basis? Right? Because it's like creating that solid, stable foundation, not just doing it right before a big thing or during a big thing. It's like this is something that we can do all the time. And one of my favorite questions to ask leaders is what shows up when you show up? When you walk into a room, what is the energy that people feel when you walk into that space? Do they feel this, like, frantic, chaotic, like, energy of, like, I can't believe this, and the news is crazy, and the emails are nuts, and the client is this. You know? Or when you walk into a room, you know, do people feel do people feel safe? Do people feel calm? Do people feel grounded? Like and I heard a statistic recently, and I'd love your thoughts on this because, you know, you hear all these things and, you know, they said, you know, as we come back we've come back from COVID, obviously, and we're doing more in person things. When we're within three feet of somebody else, it's like our electromagnetic fields are legit impact. It's like the mirror neurons.

Marli Williams [: 00:34:23

Right? So that's why it's like, what is the culture that we create as a leader with our energy? Our nervous systems are all reacting and responding to each other. So if we're all in this heightened state, and that's why I think it's like people feel crazy a little bit right now, Everybody's in this, like, kinda hypervigilance and, like, this state of panic or fear or overwhelm, and you you can feel it. You can feel it the moment someone walks into a room.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:34:55

Leaders are often survivors. Right? They're people who, like, put their heads down, have worked really hard, are doing all the things, have the energy, have the motivation. Right? They've had to in some way. Right? Offering a place of, like, that's amazing, and you don't have to push to do it. And I think that, like, you're talking about, like, now just in our world and society, this is so important. Because to me, like, the big picture of this work is, like, it creates a ripple effect. How you show up at work, at home, at the coffee shop. Right? Like, you have the potential when you cultivate a state of beingness that you show up.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:35:37

You have space for yourself and for others. You are and it's, again, it's palpable. Like, somebody might be having a hard day and you just have a whole lot of space and compassion. Like, oh, they're having a rough go today. And my just presence being here, just like maybe a smile or whatever, it impacts things. You just don't even know how much of a positive impact and ripple this can have. And and I feel like in a world where we feel so, like, helpless about government and everything happening right now, the more that we can be like, how do I create safety in myself in the moment? How do I create safety in my family, in my community? How do how can I show up in a way that is like, I'm, you know, Ray Charles, like one drop of love? Right? And believing that that's actually impactful.

Marli Williams [: 00:36:21

Yeah. Sometimes it can really feel like overwhelming and really helpless of, like, there's just so much going on. And to really see this work as is essential. You know, like, when I think about the idea of, like, sustainable leadership, like, leading over the long haul, you know, in order for us to not, like, totally burn out. Like, how are we really showing up for ourselves so that we can show up for the work and the world and our clients and in whatever way that you're, like, fighting the good fight, but coming home to yourself, right, and creating a home within yourself that's like, you know, in those moments where we are we feel that sense of panic or overwhelm, it's like, sometimes I'm just like, I have a roof over my head. I have food in my fridge. I'm, like you know, sometimes putting my hands on my heart. Like, I am safe. I'm not getting chased by a lion or a tiger or a bear, but it can it can feel that way. And I know that some people's lives do feel threatened or their jobs are at risk or, you know, financially you know, like, there's there's a lot out in the world that can cause us to be in a state of kind of, like, panic and fear.

Marli Williams [: 00:37:33

And seeing this work as, like, essential, not separate from. Right? It's like, I really you know, it is a a skill that we can all cultivate, and it's I what I love about these tools is, like, they're free. You know? It's like it's connecting to our breath. It's connecting to our body. It's coming back to ourselves and really building and nurturing our ourselves. And it's like, you know, again, like parenting, talking about, like, internal family systems, it's like the little kid in us is freaking out. And can we parent ourselves to say, like, you're safe and you're okay, and I and I got you. Like, I got you. Right?

MEgan Moseley [: 00:38:16

I love that work, and I use it all the time. And, like, I call it being the superhero of your own life. You travel this through line of this kinda sense of, like, when you are in that alignment, when you sense, like, yes. I am all about safety, love, connection, truth, integrity, blah blah blah. That is me. Like, that's a message maybe your younger self didn't have. So, like, to have this idea of, like, traveling this golden through line of your life and, like, and parenting yourself and connecting to yourself and recognizing we feel triggered that some younger part of ourself has shown up here. Right? And when we talk about, like, you just talked about coming home, and I love both of those words because they both end in me.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:38:52

Come home, like, I love that. And, like, the word, like, becoming, be me is that's you know, starts with being ends with me. Like, it's like these I think to really think about things like that. And when they say things like come home, it's like, that is about me. Right? And I'm worth it, and that's important.

Marli Williams [: 00:39:09

This idea of so often we outsource our sense of safety to other people. Yeah. To social media, to society, to your parents, to your partner, to whoever. Like, it's something outside of you versus can we insource our sense of safety and not rely on that from the outside? And when we do that, we can have, I think, you know, we could be better leaders. We can be better partners. We can be better parents and, you know, bosses or employers or, you know, whatever the work is that you do in the world. And, you know, I've done a lot of work around, like, letting go of, like, people pleasing and, like, that recovering perfectionist, and I can be, like, so hard on myself. And so I also see this as such a practice of, like like you said, that that self compassion of it might be easy to do this when, like, everything's going well and rainbows are but and there's like, everything is great.

Marli Williams [: 00:40:07

But what happens when I mess up or make a mistake? Can I can I put my hand on my heart and say, like, I got you? You're safe. It's okay. Not necessarily needing that external validation, although it's kinda like having that be the icing on the cake, but not the cake. It's like It's lovely. But not relying on it.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:40:24

Exactly. And I think that when we come into alignment with our core true selves, we actually magnetize that. Right? It's very different to have this kind of shared energy of, like, when we really are when we really truly do have ourselves, that people like, then our energy is safe. Right? That people wanna come to us. They wanna feel connected. They feel safe in themselves. Right? So it's very different than this kind of me, I don't know, request or requirement of that. Right?

Marli Williams [: 00:40:50

Yeah. Yeah. It's so it's so true. Yeah. So I I'm curious as we kind of bring things home to get today, do you have any final thoughts to leave people with as they go out into the world that might feel a little overwhelming, a little chaotic? Any little pep talk or reminder that you wanna share, and then where people can find you, learn more about you, and the amazing work that you do in the world.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:41:15

Thank you. One thing that I'll say kind of in this talking about, like, having compassion for yourself is this idea of when, you know, if you do choose to practice this authentic alignment and I'll put a link that you can put in for a free walk through this practice. Think about, like, I'm just not here right now doing this for myself. Like, you think about these parts of ourselves from the past. It's like, that's who I'm lining up for. That's who's here inside of me, behind me, next to me, whatever. So we can start to have this relationship of really caring for ourselves and having compassion around that. This work is so powerful and it's so accessible, really, in how we can just use our bodies to tap our nervous systems and and really shift and come home into ourselves and and have a lot of healing and allows us to really, I think, just show up, feel energized and alive, and that's what we all want.

Marli Williams [: 00:42:02

It's so true. It's what we all want. I love that. So where can people, yeah, follow you and your work and learn more about you? Yeah. We'll have the links to the practices and some of the amazing tools and resources you've created in the show notes for sure.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:42:15

I have a studio here in Portland and the Pearl, corner of Twelfth And Flanders, and I work with people in a one to one coaching way. So generally, in, three, six, or twelve month packages. And if people just wanna come in and have a consult, I'm willing to meet with people one time, but I max at 15 clients. And so it really is a relationship around not just the hour a week that I'm with somebody, but, like, we're connected throughout that. I have, an online course, and it's, goes through all of these kind of resiliency practices and ways that you can use your body to, like, not just have to make decisions with your mind, be like, what am I giving to this? What are my boundaries? What are my so just, like, exploring how to use your body to really live more fully in yourself. Beautiful. Website that I will link up that I've got a few different, retreats coming up and some eight week class that I do in Portland. And that's actually super accessible because I price it in a way that I feel this work is so important.

MEgan Moseley [: 00:43:09

I really want people to be able to come that's eight weeks for just $2.50.

Marli Williams [: 00:43:13

Amazing. So lots of different options and ways to follow-up with you, work with you, and I just wanna thank you so much for the work that you're doing. I really do think, given the times that we're in right now, these practices are so, so powerful. So if you are listening to this podcast, it's not about the information, it's about the application of this information. So use the authentic alignment practice. We're gonna have a link in the show notes. And, like, taking two to three minutes, few times a day to reconnect, to check-in with yourself, and to lead from within, to feel safe from within, and like Megan said, just to come home to yourself. So thank you all so much for tuning in, for listening.

Marli Williams [: 00:43:59

Thank you, Megan, for sharing your magic and medicine with all of us today. And until next time, take care. Thank you for joining us on another inspiring episode of the Marli Williams podcast. We hope you're leaving here with renewed energy and valuable insights to fuel your leadership, coaching, and lined up, so make sure to tune in next time. Until then, keep leading with purpose, coaching with heart, and speaking with conviction. This is Marli Williams signing off. See you next week.