Master Your Mind to Master Your Life -52

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Marli Williams [: 00:00:04

Well, hey, my friends. What is happening? Welcome back to the Marli Williams podcast where this week, I am hanging out with Ani Naqvi, who is a globally recognized speaker, thought leader, and mental fitness expert. She has been featured on TV, including meeting Oprah, and delivers powerful insights around resilience, leadership, and peak performance. She is a survivor of the two thousand four Indian Ocean tsunami as well as stage four cancer, which means she knows what it means to face life's toughest challenges and come out even stronger. So this week's podcast is really all about our mental fitness, mastering our minds so we can master our life and ultimately 10 X our impact as leaders, as speakers, as change makers, as people out there in the world wanting to make a difference. I cannot wait for you to hear her incredible story and to dive into this week's episode. Let's do this. Hey, everyone.

Marli Williams [: 00:01:13

What's happening? I am super stoked to welcome you to the Marli Williams podcast, where we will explore authentic leadership, transformational facilitation, and how to create epic experiences for your audiences every single time. I am your host, Marli Williams, bringing you thought provoking insights, expert interviews, and actionable strategies to unlock your potential as a leader, facilitator, and speaker. Thank you for joining me on this journey of growth, transformation, and impact. Let's lead together. The Marli Williams podcast begins now. Let's dive in. Today, my friends, I get to hang out with my new friends, one of my new people from this amazing community that I've joined of phenomenal speakers from all over the world. Today, I wanna introduce you to Ani Naqvi, who is just a phenomenal mentor, a coach, a transformational speaker, leader, guide for people to navigate the challenges in their life and do that with power and grace and helping people, do the impossible, which she has done time and time again.

Marli Williams [: 00:02:31

So, I'm excited for her to share her journey and her story with you all today. Ani, welcome to the show.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:02:38

Thank you for having me, Marli. It's great to be here.

Marli Williams [: 00:02:40

Yeah. So stoked that we met in Dallas A Couple Weeks ago. We're gonna be roommates at our upcoming boot camp and both having this growth mindset of, like, how do we share our message with the world? And, you know, I think that we both care about making an impact. And I think that the people on this call really care about that too. And one of the things that really caught my attention was this idea of to 10 x your impact. How do we do that? And so that's kind of the conversation that we get to dive into today, but I would love for you to just take a moment since you just you have a fascinating story. Just to share a little bit of journey. What's got you to this point.

Marli Williams [: 00:03:28

And then we'll dive in and helping people really clarify what does their 10 x impact look like and how to get there.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:03:35

Absolutely. As you mentioned, I have had an extraordinary journey in my life. I survived the two thousand and four Asian tsunami on the East Coast Of Sri Lanka while I was holidaying there. And we, you know, nearly died multiple times, really kind of like we're in this absolute chaotic and kind of like, you know, end of the world kind of scenario. The movies don't even do it justice. I mean, everybody's probably seen the movies, but it doesn't really do it justice in terms of when you're actually in the tsunami. You wake up to your door being flung open, and then you're drowning instantly.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:04:21

Somehow, I managed to survive all of that, And I also managed to organize the relief effort that because we were stranded where we were. We had seven huge tsunamis where we were, and the fifth wave took out the bridge that connected us to the mainland. So we were kind of an island on an island, on the remote part of Sri Lanka on the East Coast. And I kind of just you know, I used to work as a broadcast journalist at the BBC. Like, my first job out of uni was doing that. And so I don't know how, but I managed to remember the number of the BBC switchboard. Wow. Even though I'd left there five years before, and I managed to get a journalist I managed to speak to a journalist and get them to get in touch with the British High Commission for us, who then got in touch with me and organized the relief effort to pick us up the following day.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:05:12

There were a hundred or so survivors. Nate Berkus was one of them. And Nate and I became very close during that kind of, like, during that period of time. You know, he lost his partner, during the tsunami. And a lot of the time, it was me and him spending time together, me trying to support him, me trying to organize the relief effort for the choppers to come, you know, taking registers, the people, and giving administering first aid even though I had a massive gash on one side of my face and looked like some kind of hideous monster. So, you know, when people kind of are in that situation, we were really bonded, obviously. You know, when we finally got back home, which was a week later, courtesy of him buying our flights for us as well on New Year's Eve, He contacted me a few days later and invited me onto the Oprah Winfrey Show where, obviously, every every show under the sun was doing their tsunami specials, and he invited me onto the show to talk about how I'd had us airlift it to safety and my role in in in all of that. And, you know, so I did appear with Oprah.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:06:21

One of the things that Oprah said to me, how are things for you now? And I said, well, there were we have to take some solace in the fact that we survived when so many others did not survive.

Marli Williams [: 00:06:32

Mhmm.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:06:33

So and I said to her, but, you know, I felt that there was some, you know, greater purpose that I was yet to discover and that's, you know, why, you know, I had survived maybe when others had died. I believe that when the soul has come here and completed its journey, that we move on. So my soul obviously hadn't completed its journey. Well, that's what I try to believe. It makes me feel better about death. I felt that that I hadn't done that. And so it really was the catalyst for me finding my purpose. It, you know, took me to Iraq to go and work, for an NGO during the war, and it took me to work for The UK's largest cancer charity The UK's largest charity, which is a cancer charity, as the head of projects.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:07:21

And so I was doing that for a while, but then, obviously then I got my own health diagnosis, my own cancer diagnosis. And then I was like, well, obviously, this isn't my purpose because now I've got another kind of mortal sort of, you know, challenge to deal with. And, you know, I had a number of recurrences as well as stage four. It was really a difficult period of time for me, but I was very adamant that I didn't want to do chemo, and I really wanted to sort of go a sort of integrated route, holistic and with some conventional treatments as well. And I'm happy to say, I've been in remission now for the last ten years from stage four cancer without having done chemo. But, obviously, these challenges, most people not surviving a tsunami and multiple near death experiences. So I'd had three near death experiences before the tsunami and then more when during the tsunami. So but what that did give me was this realization that death is not the end and that it's just a portal to another kind of dimension, really.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:08:26

So in that respect, I kind of learned a lot from those near death experiences. And to be honest, I've learned a lot from all of the challenges. I always say that I wouldn't be the person I am today had I not been for all through all of those things. And every single one of those things has built my resilience, built my character, built my strength. And I've been able to reframe everything as being a challenge. Every challenge is an opportunity for growth, and what if in our darkest hour we find our greatest strengths. But I like I've written a book as well, which is called tsunami, the wave that saved my life and can save yours. If I'll just grab a copy for you to have a look at as well.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:09:11

So that's my book, Meet, the wave that saved my life and can save yours. And I wrote that book, and it I just released it, and for the twenty year anniversary, actually. And it's kind of my the things that I learned along my journey that I hope will help other people navigate the challenges that they face in their lives, such as we all lose our parents, for example. We all have loss in our lives. Sometimes we may have a health diagnosis. We may have other challenges that we're facing, you know, break up of a relationship or losing our job. So how can we face those challenges with that positive mindset and move from surviving, just surviving, which obviously I was just surviving through the tsunami and the cancer and everything, and really switch into thriving so we can 10 x our impact in the world. And this is something I'm super passionate about because I think so many people waste so much of their energy, their mental energy on not being in the present moment, on worrying about something that's happened in the past that they can't change or regretting something that they've done in the past that's already gone or worrying about what might happen in the future.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:10:29

What if this happens? What if that happens? The amount of energy that we waste with all of that mental gymnastics that we do is absolutely extraordinary. And if we were to actually live in this moment and be focused in this moment where our energy, our mental, physical, emotional energy is just focused on this moment, we can actually use that and harness that to be way more creative, more innovative, more supercharged than we can we've ever been before because your reality is being created by what's happening right now. Your future reality is being created by what's happening right now. So I'm really passionate about being able to help people to you know, I work as an executive coach as well and, you know, to really help my executives, first of all, you know, get more impact, higher performance, more productivity, more focus, more clarity, which is what everybody wants from their from their c suites and their leaders and their peep teams in general. But at the same time, you're also increasing your well-being, your self care. You're reducing your risk of burnout. You're reducing your risk of, you know, the companies are reducing their risk of attrition. They are reducing their risk of, you know, long term sickness, all of these things.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:12:00

And, you know, you have a healthier mental fitness workforce that are able to deliver more work in less amount of time, but at the same time, also taking care of themselves, their mental and their emotional well-being.

Marli Williams [: 00:12:18

Wow. Thank you so much for just painting that picture for us, sharing that story. And I think that that is something that we really relate on is this idea of where, where is our energy and our attention going and what is draining us energetically, emotionally, physically, mentally, and how that gets in the way of our ability to have an impact in the world. Right. And I agree with you. Like, I, I truly believe that we are all here, you know, for a reason to, you know, to show up and to serve. And sometimes those, the, the challenges that we've been through, the things that you've gone through have, have teed you up, have set you up to be of even greater service. And sometimes I think, you know, yeah, for people that are going through a challenge right now, I think it's like when you're in the thick of it, when you're in the heart of it, it's so hard to see that as like, this is my next growth opportunity.

Marli Williams [: 00:13:15

You're like, what is this helping me evolve into? How is this helping me grow? What are the lessons that I meant to learn here? And to come back from an experience like that and, and say like, well, how can I serve based on, you know, what, what I've been through? How can I help other people? And that might not be surviving a tsunami or getting through cancer, but it's like we ever, every single day we face and navigate challenges as leaders. And I think that the people listening to this podcast too, like, I really do believe like they're here for a reason and they're here to make an impact. And so this idea of what you're saying is like, kind of really looking at, well, what gets in the way of you making the impact you wanna make? And today, really unpacking, like, how do we 10 x our impact through, you know, a phrase that I love that you say, you know, master your mind, master your life so that you can 10 x your impact. And I'm just so curious when you think about the mental models and the mindset that you had to cultivate in order to heal from cancer and get through all of these near death experiences. I would love for you to, like, walk us through that mindset kind of evolution for yourself of, like, how have you been able to strengthen that within you? And, yeah, we can share that with the crew listening today.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:14:44

Yeah. 100% agree with you, Marli. We don't realize how much energy we're wasting through those types of things. A %. When I went through my cancer journey, I was very lucky. I met my husband and one month before my cancer diagnosis. I mean, poor guy. I never saw before him because, you know, there he is, free as a bird, you know, then he meets me, we fall in love with, like, soulmates and stuff, and then one month later, it's like, Oh, I've got this terrible diagnosis, and then my father passed away straight afterwards as well, like one or two weeks later.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:15:22

It was a doozy of a time fifteen years ago. Wow. And his fiftieth anniversary this year actually. So, you know, so that's something to really be grateful for. But he was my kind of North Star at the time in the sense that he was a yoga teacher, massage therapist, But saying it was a yoga teacher and a massage therapist doesn't really tell you who he is as a person. Like, he is as close as you get to the embodiment of a Buddhist monk and a real person. He was nonjudgmental and kind right from the outset. He never engaged in never wanted to engage in gossip, never wanted to do any of that kind of thing.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:15:59

And to be honest, it you know, he really reframed started my reframing perspective. Because when I used to say, poor me, why me? Why does all this crap happen to me? Which, you know, you would say, okay, do you know what? You know, she's, she's got a kind of point, really, you know, three near death experiences, a tsunami, multiple counts diagnosis stage four. I mean, like, you know, you could think, oh my God, the universe has got it out for me. Right? Right. You know what he said to me? He said to me, why not you? And that was the beginning of a huge reframe for me. Like, yeah, why? Why do we all think that we should get through life without any huge challenges that we have to face, without any problems, without any adversity? You know, we're so programmed to just want everything, and life isn't like that. And actually, I think now, you know, if somebody is going through a lot of challenge, you know, the way I reframe it, I'm like, okay. You know what? It means that your soul was strong enough to take on board all of these things, and so it's it's a make or break situation.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:17:05

A lot of people let it break them. Okay? And I get it. You know, when I was in the middle of it all, I was not seeing the opportunity. I was just being angry and in survival mode, and I was, you know, I was pissed, you know. So I I get it. Like, it's not that you're gonna see it straight away. But with the benefit of hindsight, when you move out of that, when you can see, you know, the wood for the trees, that kind of, you know, when you got into a bit of a clearing, that's when you go, oh, why? Okay. That's what I remembered and learned from this experience and that's what this gave me and that's, you know so now, for example, I mean, I think if fifteen years ago people if my friends had said if I'd have said to my friends, I'm gonna be an executive coach, they would have laughed at me because I was so judgmental.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:17:53

I was, not a non judgmental, kind, empathetic person. But, of course, I developed those, you know, and obviously I worked a lot on my, my own kind of things that were coming up. So I I call them kind of archetypes and saboteurs that we all have and people will recognize the main ones. You know, we've all got the judge in us. We all like to judge others or ourselves, or we judge circumstances and situations. We some of us are pleasers. Some of us are overachievers. Some of us are perfectionists.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:18:26

Some of us are restless, can't sit still for five minutes. Others are avoiders. We've all got different, you know, kind of, some of us use logic to the you know, we we cut the emotions off and we only kind of go with the logical side of things. You know, these are just some of the kind of like, you know, some of us are controllers. Some of our type a people, they're kinda controllers. You know? So the type a ones are the overachievers, the perfectionists, and the controllers, for example. Then you've got soft ones like your victim and your avoider and your restless, for example. They're kind of like your maybe you're not your type a's, but they're kind of like the people that like to make the piece and, you know, all that kind of thing.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:19:08

But you can see all these different archetypes in people when you're when you're working alongside them for many years and different kind of behavioral habits and everything. We all have these kind of archetypes. They're part of our development when we're growing up. That four years between the ages of three and 10, where we're absorbing information from our parents, from social media, from the TV, from friends, from bullies, all of that kind of thing. And that's when we start to get these. Now the issue is that some people's saboteurs are really loud. Okay? And so they're paralyzed by them. They feel that they're not good enough.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:19:47

Do you know a universal problem that I've noticed is that nobody thinks that they're good enough as they are. Hardly anybody that I meet feels that they're good enough as they are. My husband's one of them and I've got another friend who's another one. But honestly, I don't know that many people who genuinely, 100% think that they are good enough as they are. We all seem to be also on an unconscious level still trying to get the approval and validation from parents, even if they're dead. Right.

Marli Williams [: 00:20:18

You know, if your parents aren't around, but it's like from approval from the audience, approval from your partner, from your friends, you know, and Exactly. It's interesting as someone kinda like with a with a growth mindset of, like, I always wanna be improving. How can I feel enough right now and still want more? Right? And not seeing it as, like, I'm wanting to learn and grow because I'm not enough. It's like, oh, I'm enough right now, and I want to be even, you know, better. And how to how to find that balance and not come from a place of lack, but come from a place of almost just, like, potential and possibility of, like, let's figure out how awesome I could be, you know?

Ani Naqvi [: 00:21:04

A %. And, you know, this is why I've consistently challenged myself in my life. That's why I've written my memoir and, you know, it's terrifying writing a memoir about the deepest darkest periods of your life where you're completely open and honest and no mask there because you can't write with a mask on. You're not gonna pro produce good content. So, you know, there's that. Then I again, with this with the speaking, you know, I used to be terrified of public speaking. I used to be so terrified of what people would think about me. So I was like, okay, you have this really bad, you know, fear of what other people think of you, of being judged by others.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:21:44

So, you know, I'm the kind of person that whatever the challenge is, I put myself directly in front of it and go, right, we're going to work on this and we're going to overcome this. It's still terrifying, you know? I'm not going to say it's not. It can still be terrifying, but I've definitely kind of, you know, overcome that initial kind of fear that I had right at the beginning, like, a few years ago. But, yeah, I you know, my husband really helped the reframing plus, you know, he's an excellent meditation and mindfulness instructor. And so, you know, for years, he was trying to help me with those techniques. And I would say it took a long time for it to stick and it was really only in 2017, so post my accounts or everything, that I went on a ten day kind of like meditation course. It's a silent meditation. You have to sit and do meditation for ten hours a day.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:22:39

So it's in it's intensive. It's there's no walking meditation. There's no talking. There's no communicating. You're literally just sat there with your thoughts and your body sensations and all that kind of thing. But I tell you, Marli, it was the beginning of something amazing for me. It's after that that everything just started to go for me because when you challenge yourself in that way you know, first of all, I shifted my entire neuroplasticity in that ten days. Like, I could I was a different person when I came out of that.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:23:15

You know, my husband, we used to have huge fights, for example, hardly have any fights anymore. They totally dialed down the, the kind of intensity of the fights. I became a lot more nonreactive. You know, a lot of people use food as a comfort, so I had a comfort eating thing. But because you don't get fed, you know, properly, you have lunch at eleven, eleven thirty, and then you just get fruit on your first one at 05:00, and that's it. And you're done, basically. So it completely changed my relationship with food. It completely, changed.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:23:47

I used to get sciatica all the time. I sat through the mother of all sciatica pains, never got sciatica ever again. I sat through the mother of all hot flushes because some of the meds that I was on for my cancer treatment, you know, it was trying to push me through chemical menopause. So, you know, I was getting a lot of side effects from the medication and would get hot flushes and things like that. I sat through the mother of all hot flushes and then hardly ever got any hot flushes after that. Like, so I healed myself through meditating only of recurrent tonsillitis that I have had since I was a kid. But in the last couple of years, I've had it five times in two years or something, and I healed myself just through meditating, and I've never had tonsillitis ever again since then. I mean, I'm talking like next level, like you really, really notice how much your mind and the thoughts that you're creating and your mental kind of, state is creating either illness or habit or bad habits and all these kind of things.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:24:56

And and I really sort of like, you know and I've also done meditation and mindfulness, qualifications and yoga teaching and yoga therapy and lots of other kind of, you know, Ayurveda and hypnotherapy and NLP and all these other things. But when I kind of did that, I really noticed the difference. And at that time, I didn't understand all the neuroscience behind techniques. But, of course, nowadays, it's we're flooded with it. Right? So and the thing is you don't have to go and do a ten day retreat to attend x yawl. I'm not saying go do this ten day thing. It's not gonna be for everybody. I get that.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:25:32

But I'm I'm gonna share some simple hacks with your day, the way you can start to do and integrate these little moments within your day to really start to harness your mind for your greatest good. And trust me, scrolling on social media, scrolling on Instagram, doing all of the things that get keep you dopamine addicted and out of the present moment are not doing you any favors whatsoever.

Marli Williams [: 00:26:04

It's so true. You know, and I think it's so important to recognize, you know, there are patterns and habits in our life that serve us, and there are patterns and habits and behaviors that stop us, you know, that keep us from growing, that keep us from that impact that we want to have and maybe keep, keep us safe. No. Cause one thing about neuroscience and I'm excited to get into like these kinds of mindset hacks that I, my friend Lisette says, is our brains are designed and wired to do two things. One to keep us safe. You know, so sometimes those habits and behaviors are trying to keep us where we are because that's what, what we've been through. What we know currently is comfortable to our brain. And so all of those habits and patterns and behaviors, sometimes they're keeping us stuck.

Marli Williams [: 00:26:53

They're keeping us comfortably, you know, uncomfortably comfortable. Right? In a way. And to make us write about the things that we believe at the deepest level. So this idea of like, what do I believe about who I am, what I'm capable of, what's possible in my life. And like you said, the power of our unconscious mind and all of these thoughts that are like, you know, they're running the show behind the scenes. And so I think today, yeah, like really unpacking. Yeah. Maybe if I can't go on, like, a ten day vipassana, like silent meditation retreat or something, what are some some tangible tools and tips that we can give people today are really to help them master their minds.

Marli Williams [: 00:27:37

So they can master their life. Exactly. First of all, you're absolutely right.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:27:40

Right? So we've got two main hemispheres of the brain. We've got the survival part of the brain. We've got the thriving part of the brain. You can think of the surviving part of the brain kind of like our ego part, the one that says that I am, right, rather than connecting us with the we are kind of thing, right, because we're all part of one thing. Right? We're all part of one consciousness at the end of the day. And that's where we go back to when we when we die. Yeah.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:28:06

We go back into the all. And so we've got these two hemispheres of the brain, but we've also got what's called the negativity bias. And the negativity bias is where we preprogram to remember the negative things that have happened in our lives and the negative experiences because that's part of our evolution. Our ancestors needed to know which was the poisonous snake more than they needed to know which was the pretty butterfly. So that's why we've evolved in that way. So and and it's there to keep you from walking out into traffic. Yeah. If we didn't have that survival of instinct, we would do all sorts of crazy things.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:28:47

But it's there for a reason, and we need both. What the survival part of the brain often does is it keeps us limited in what we can achieve and what we can do. It tells you that you're not good enough or that you're not experienced enough or that that's ridiculous. However, you're gonna become a millionaire or a billionaire when you're just working as a cleaner in a in a supermarket or something. Right? It will just limit you because the brain always tries to go into the how. Okay? But where we we we can use utilize the thriving part of the brain, which is where your creativity exists, where your innovation exists, your solution focused exists, your imagination, your create you know, you we can be and do anything if we can imagine it. You know, they've done, like, studies where they've shown that when people are watching people do sports, like basketball, hoops or something, they did a study where a bunch of people were doing the the actual hoops, then they were watching people doing the hoops, and then they were people that were doing nothing. And the people that were watching people doing the hoops did just almost just as well as the people that were actually doing the hoops.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:29:57

Now how crazy is that? Just by watching and observing. So do not ever underestimate the power of the mind and the power of visualization and the power of creation. We could create our reality in any moment of the day just by focusing on what it is that we do want in our lives and, you know, not focusing on what we don't want. And then making that image really big and bright, you know, using those lovely NLP kind of techniques, you know. You know, feel it, you know, hear it, see it really bright and in big pictures and all that kind of thing and do that regularly. And, you know, you do have to also take action. It's not that you're just gonna sit there and things are just suddenly gonna you have to take inspired action as well. But if you do those things, you can definitely make that happen.

Marli Williams [: 00:30:50

Yeah. I love that. And, you know, like NLP, you know, for folks listening, it stands for neurolinguistic programming. And what you're saying is, like, you know, in all of the neuroscience and the research that's out about this is, you know, just the idea of neuroplasticity. Right? So, so often, again, we just get stuck in, you know, I'd sometimes I say if if someone has always lived their life at a five or a six, it's hard to even know that a nine or a 10 is possible. And so, you know, this idea of inviting yourself to visualize the type of person you wanna be, the type of life that you wanna have, and knowing and believing that you are worthy of making that amount of money, having those opportunities, speaking on those stages, having an amazing relationship or partnership, if all you've known is not that. And so, you know, I think the question as a coach that I'm sure you ask your clients and I asked time and time again is, what do you really want? And the most people's first answer to that question is I don't know. Not knowing or saying I don't know really it kinda, like, lets us off the hook of having to, like, create or do something different.

Marli Williams [: 00:32:09

It's like, oh, I'm and a lot of people that I think we work with is like, oh, my life is good enough. It's okay. It's fine. It's not bad. Right? And so we almost kinda like we settle for mediocrity in a way, where it's like, we're not in the bottom of the barrel, but it's like you're allowed to be grateful for what you have and still strive for greatness, still want more, and not make yourself wrong about where you're at right now. But sitting with this question of, like, what do I really want? And being silent or quiet enough, being with yourself long enough to let that answer come from your intuition and your gut and your heart instead of your brain of because so often I think people get stuck and many get stuck in this, well, what do I think that I should want? Or they get to this like, well, society said that if I had the house and the partner and I did the things and got the job, then I would be happy. And I have all those things and I I'm not happy. So the piece of how do you wanna feel in your life, like you said, of like, well, if I did have all of that, how would I feel? I would feel free or abundant or connected or, you know, the emotion driving that.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:33:27

I mean, you hit the nail on the head. I talk exactly about that in my book in the first few pages. I'm like, I don't get this. I've done everything my parents told me to do. I went to college. I got the degree. I've now got the dream job that I always wanted. I bought my house.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:33:41

I'm financially independent, but I do not feel happy. And I was just like, is this all there is to life? Going through the motions, going to a nine to five job, and then coming home and cooking and eating and then doing it all over again, rinse and repeat, and that and I was having a major existential crisis in my thirties, you know, and once I hit 30, I was like, this can't be all there is to life, and it's not. And the thing is is that we fall into the trap of thinking that all the things that society, especially in the West, whether we're in The UK or in The US, buy this, buy that, you know, consume more. That doesn't none of that makes us happy, really. That doesn't give us real contentment. It doesn't give us real fulfillment. What tends to give us contentment and fulfillment is finding meaning and purpose in life, being of service to others. And the thing is we are all here to play a big game, but most of us are not.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:34:40

And and it's a shame because everybody is, unfortunately, letting that negativity bias and letting their survival brain function get in the way of them really being able to live the lives that they're here to lead. And, you know, every single person in the world has got unique gifts, strengths, and abilities, but they may not know what they are. Every single person in the world has something unique to offer. Did you know that every single person's genetic makeup is completely unique? Our it's like there is no other Molly. There is no other Ani in the world. You know, you could be twins or triplets or whatever, but your genetic makeup is still gonna be different to your twin. So we are all incredibly special, and, unfortunately, we don't realize that yet. And it's because of these saboteurs that kind of harping away in the background telling us, you're not good enough, and you can't do that, and don't be stupid.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:35:43

You're never gonna get a job with that. You can't leave your job because, you know, what about health insurance? And we just every and any excuse that there is was the saboteurs will get in there, will prevent you from doing those things.

Marli Williams [: 00:35:59

Yeah. And I I love what you said, and I've old people that before. You know, do you know the chances of you being born? It's like one in, like, seven hundred trillion. Right? Even, like, all the things that have had to happen in order for you to exist as a human And knowing there was never a you before you, there will never be a you after you. And my one of my favorite quotes is by doctor Seuss that says, today, you are you. That is truer than true. There is no one alive that is youer than you. So this kind of invitation to be like, how can you be like the USU you could possibly be? And like you said, I I do believe that where people find their meaning and their purpose is through the impact that they're here to make.

Marli Williams [: 00:36:43

And when we think about this idea of 10 x in your impact, of asking yourself, you know, for me, when I think about, well, what is success? Right? When I look back on my life, it's like, I was true to myself. I followed my heart and I made a positive difference in the lives of other people. And it's like, when you think about what is the impact that you want your life, your journey, your story to have on other people. And I think that really letting yourself be with that and sit with that. If you don't know the answer to ask yourself that question, you know, what do you really want and what is the impact you are here to make and create for other people? Because I I do believe I I'm with you a % of, like, that is why we're here. So I'm curious when we take all of the pieces of this puzzle and we think about this idea to 10 x your impact, How does someone do that? How does someone like me, like, I'm here to show up. I'm here to serve. I may be making this impact.

Marli Williams [: 00:37:49

How do I how do I 10 x it? What does that how do I do it? Tell me. Show me.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:37:54

So first of all, you need to really quieten those pesky little saboteurs. Right? So is it unique that's gonna help people to dial down the saboteurs and increase the kind of, like, the consciousness thriving part of the brain, right, which connects us all to the universe. We've all kind of felt it at some point in our life where we feel deeply connected to the one and to all and everything. And if you haven't, then, you know, you'll get that at some point. So first of all, the first step is really making becoming really self aware about those voices in your head, okay, and calling them out. So I call it the three n's. You notice it, you name it, you neutralize it. You We have up to a hundred thousand thoughts a day.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:38:40

Most of those thoughts are the same repetitive thoughts that we've had yesterday. But those thoughts are running in the unconscious and in the autonomic nervous system. And if you are not consciously aware of what you're thinking, it's driving your behaviors and it's driving your life. In fact, Carl Jung says that until you bring the unconscious into the conscious, it will drive your life and you'll call it fate because driving your behaviors from, you know, underneath. So first step is bringing everything into the conscious part of the brain. Become really self aware. So check-in with yourself regularly throughout the day. What am I thinking? What am I feeling? Your feelings are usually preceded by some thought.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:39:23

So if you start to feel negative emotions, all of your negative emotions are caused by one of these multiple saboteurs that we have. Okay? So trace your steps back. You know, check-in with yourself regularly through the day. Oh, what are my thoughts doing? Where am I thinking? And you may not notice at first because it takes time to build self awareness and really get a handle on what your thoughts are doing all the time. But if you keep doing it regularly throughout the day as often as you can, checking in, what am I what am I thinking? What am I feeling? What was I fee what was I thinking just before I felt sad or when I felt bad? You know? And catch those thoughts. Okay? And once you've caught them, you label them. Oh, my saboteur, my judge, or my pleaser, or my controller is telling me x. Okay? And so you've noticed it.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:40:15

You've named it. Now you neutralize it. Just because you think something does not make it true, let that thought go. Okay? Then we ABCs. We do the, is this thought accurate? Is it balanced? And is it complete? And if it's not accurate and it's not balanced, it never is balanced, and it's never accurate, and it's never complete. So, again, you've let it go. Now what you do is you replace it with a positive thought, the opposite positive thought. So if it's saying, you're not good enough to do this, I am good enough.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:40:47

I am good enough. I am good enough. You do it with power. You do it with feeling. And then at the same time that you do that, you then have to and this is the neuroscience y bit, and this is the neuroplasticity shifting bit. You then have to take a couple of minutes, one to two minutes. Alright? And you can do, you focus on one sensation, so it can be touch, it can be sight, it can be sound, it can be breath. Okay? What about the sensations are there? Those are the main sensations.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:41:18

You focus your attention for one to two minutes on one sensation. So let's say you're in a meeting. Okay? Many of our clients tend to be in meetings. You don't have time to go to the bathroom and do something. Right? So what do you do? You start doing what we could gonna call a mental fitness rep. Okay? And you're gonna do it on the sound of my voice, for example. So you're gonna start to listen to the timbre of my voice, the depth of my voice, the speed of my voice, all of the little nuances of my voice. You're also listening to the content.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:41:53

It's not that you're zoning out of the content. You're totally zoning in, but your % attention is on listening to all the details of my voice and how I sound, my accent, speed, timbre, blah, pace, everything. And you do that for just one to two minutes. Okay? And what that does is it resets your brain back into this moment. Okay? But that negative little spiral you know, we've all got these pathways that are kind of grooved into our brain. So what that's doing is it's interrupting your existing pattern in your brain, And then it's creating a new neuropathway. When you do the positive statement, you do the two minutes with the mental fitness rep. It's then creating a new pathway, a new neuron in your brain that eventually, when you do that enough, it deletes the old pathway and you've created a new one.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:42:53

And that neuroplasticity, that's how you shift your brain from surviving into thriving. You have to do that regularly and consistently. It's the same as a doctor saying to you, you've got to do thirty minutes of, physical exercise a day. You've got to do fifteen to twenty minutes of mental fitness exercises a day in order to stay mentally fit and to 10 x your impact. Because when you start to do that, you start to scrub out the surviving pathways in your brain. You start to create those new creative pathways in this in the thriving parts of the brain, and that's when you're then able to really harness the power of the moment of the now to really create that future that you want. And if you do that regularly throughout the day, so that's just one example. Let's say, for example, you can do it with breath as well.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:43:52

Okay? So let's say you've got a couple of minutes. Let's say you're driving to work. You can do the breathing one when you're driving to work, for example. So really pay attention to your breath and start breathing in slowly, deeply using the abdominal breathing muscles rather than the sort of chest up here. And be like, take in a few breaths. Breathe in for a count of four. Breathe out for a count of six or eight. Do that for a few breaths during your, you know, daily commute.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:44:23

And then you've again, you've then you you've focused your mind into this moment. How many times are we thinking, oh my god, I gotta get the kids to do this, and then I've gotta get the lunch ready, and then I've got to drop them these people off. And then I've got this meeting. And what about that presentation I've got to do? Let, you know, quiet all of that away. Just focus the breath for now. Okay? Because those little moments of silence, in those little moments that we have that we're really truly able to quieten ourselves, to really get present. And like I said, you can integrate all this stuff into your day. You don't need to go and sit in lotus position for half an hour in the morning or the evening.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:45:08

Do these types of things throughout your day. When you're loading the dishwasher, instead of thinking about a thousand different things, just really notice the sound of the water when you're, like, rinsing your plates, you know, feel the touch of the plates as you're handling them and putting them into the dishwasher. You know, just take these moments. Right? Everybody can do this. This is not hard that no that you can't do it. Okay? And just take your nose out of scrolling off the phone for ages and just try these techniques. And I swear to you, the more you do it, the more amazing you're going to feel, the less anxious, the less stressed, more impact you're going to have, and you're gonna become mentally fit, and you're gonna be able to 10 times your impact in the world.

Marli Williams [: 00:45:58

Wow. I love that. And, you know, I think that it's, it's so important to see it like that metaphor of, you know, we have physical fitness, but it's also, you know, how do we become mentally and emotionally fit so that we can, like you said, make the impact we're here to make. And a lot of those tools and techniques that you were sharing really help us get out of that fight flight, freeze fawn mode where our nervous system is activated and getting into that parasympathetic nervous system where we're calm, we're connected, we're grounded. We can be more creative. We can be more innovative. And we're, we're bringing ourselves back to the present moment because so often when we're in that fear, Mode, it's, you know, thinking about the past or thinking about the future, but it's like right now, reminding yourself that you are safe. Exactly.

Marli Williams [: 00:46:48

And to create from that place energetically, there's so much more possibility, joy, fulfillment, connection, and we can create from, like, a whole different place. Rather than creating from fear, we can create from love, security, safety, and abundance. So I'm so grateful for you sharing sharing those tips with all of us today, and I would love for you to share, you know, any final thoughts, words of wisdom that you'd like to leave folks with, and they wanna learn more about you. Where can people find you and your work in the world?

Ani Naqvi [: 00:47:22

Yeah. So I just want to remind people that, you know, you can view every challenge as an opportunity for growth. And think to yourself, what if in your darkest hour, you find your greatest strength? When you are in the darkness, just keep that in your mind of, you know, that that through the darkness, there will be the light that will come out, and you will come out of it stronger and fitter as a result. You can find me on all social media channels under you know, I'm Ani Naqvi on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn as well. If you want to email me, I'm ani@ultimateresultsgroup.com. Just connect with me, you know, connect with me on the socials. I'd love to kind of, you know, to talk to people as well. So if you if this resonates with you and you want to sign up for a chat for anything, then, you know, you please, you're welcome to.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:48:16

And, you know, you can get my book as well, Tsunami, The Wave That Saved My Life and Can Save Yours. If you're interested in really getting into the nuts and bolts of what went on during the tsunami, and you want all of the the gory details, it's all there, but it does have a lovely inspirational happy ending as as I hope that everybody's taking from this as well.

Marli Williams [: 00:48:38

Beautiful. Yeah. We'll have those links in the show notes for you all out there listening. And I'm just so grateful to get to know you and for you to take time to share your journey, your story with us, to help people that are listening, go out there, 10 x your impact, elevate your mindset. And like you said, you know, if you are going through it right now, how can we see those challenges as an opportunity to, to grow and to learn and on the other side to come out and serve other people? So thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much for being here. As Ani said, feel free to share it, love it, like it, send it to a friend, share your golden nuggets with us.

Marli Williams [: 00:49:20

I always like to hear what your takeaways are from these conversations. And until next time, take care.

Ani Naqvi [: 00:49:26

Thanks, Marli. Thank you so much. Thank you.

Marli Williams [: 00:49:33

Thank you for joining us on another inspiring episode of the Marli Williams podcast. We hope you're leaving here with renewed energy and valuable insights to fuel your leadership, coaching, and speaking endeavors. I'd love to invite you to subscribe, rate, and review this podcast to help us reach more aspiring leaders and speakers like you. We have more exciting episodes and remarkable guests lined up, so make sure to tune in next time. Until then, keep leading with purpose, coaching with heart and speaking with conviction. This is Marli Williams signing off. See you next week.