How to Build a Successful Speaking Business Through Unconventional Actions -16

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Marli Williams [: 00:00:00

Hey, everybody. What is happening? I am super stoked to welcome you back to the Marli Williams podcast, where this week, I get to hang out with my good friend, Blake Fly who is a 9 times TEDx speaker, a serial entrepreneur, a husband, a father of 2 beautiful kids, and just an amazing coach, speaker, and mentor. And he has some really fun and unique creative ways on building a business and a life that you love through the art of gratitude and appreciation. And I just can't wait for you to check out this incredible conversation with me and Blake today. And I hope that you get something that is going to help take your business and your life to the next level. Can't wait to dive in with you today. Let's do this.

Marli Williams [: 00:00:53

Hey, everyone. What's happening? I am super stoked to welcome you to the Marli Williams podcast where we will explore authentic leadership, transformational facilitation, and how to create epic experiences for your audiences every single time. I am your host, Marli Williams, bringing you thought provoking insights, expert interviews, and actionable strategies to unlock your potential as a leader, facilitator, and speaker. Thank you for joining me on this journey of growth, transformation, and impact. Let's Lead Together. The Marli Williams podcast begins now. Let's dive in.

Marli Williams [: 00:01:35

Alright, everybody. I would love to welcome you back to the Marli Williams podcast where today I get to hang out with my amazing friend, Blake Fly. Blake is a husband, a father, an entrepreneur, an epic speaker, leader, coach, mentor. And I am just super stoked that you're here today with us, Blake. Thanks for joining us.

Blake Fly [: 00:01:58

Thanks for inviting me to be part of this thing. It's been a long time coming, like pre podcast. I feel like people kept saying you 2 got to know each other, so now we get to keep the journey going.

Marli Williams [: 00:02:08

I know. And we, like, we have crossed paths over the course of the last, I don't know, 5 to 10 years, it feels like. It feels like that long. And I know that our past, we have similar journeys that we've been on. We were both RAs in college. You know, I'm sure people are surprised, shocked to hear that I was a resident advisor in college. And I'm just super stoked to jam with you today. I love your work in the world and, you know, really exploring this idea of how to build a business and a life that you love.

Marli Williams [: 00:02:44

As entrepreneurs, we can give up the 40-hour work week and then end up working like 80 hours a week or more for ourselves because there's always something more to do. And you have been really successful in building a variety of different businesses including speaking and all that stuff. So, I would love for you to share what you are up to in the world with the audience just so that they can get to know you a little bit more and then we'll dive in. So, what are you up to in the world? What's lighting you up right now? What are you stoked about? And maybe a little bit of your journey of how you got to this moment today.

Blake Fly [: 00:03:25

Well, I'll start by making a very bold claim because I think it's fun to listen to things that start with bold claims, and then you see if the person can back it up. So, here's the bold claim, and then I'll give a little story every time. The bold claim said if I do my job well, that there will be stories today, insights today, ideas today that you could probably find $100,000 in the next few years by, like, doing some of these things. That's the bold claim. I sound like a total Internet marketer, but I just want to state it because then I'll follow through accordingly. So, that's the bold claim. And where that bold claim comes from is that my world is very much based on the fact that I'm such a relationship geek. I always have been.

Blake Fly [: 00:04:12

So, even, Marli, as you were just mentioning, like, back in the day, my whole world was as a resident adviser in university. I loved living in residence. And when all my buddies after freshman year were like, let's go. We're moving off campus. Let's look for houses. I said, guys, have a great search. I am literally living in residence until I graduate. I love it here. I love being around these people. I love just, like, being on the journey with others, studying together, partying together, like winning, losing. I got 75 years to live off campus. I got 3 more to live and rest, so I will be staying here. And I wasn't even some big partier. It's just I loved being in community, and I didn't think like, how else can I create this? So, I lived in residence for years. My 1st grown up job with a salary and benefits was as a resident manager, like, running the building on campus and, like, working with students. And I sucked at the admin side of that job and the operations side of that job, but I thrived with giving training and workshops and presentations to students and talking to parents and running events and programs. I just loved that.

Blake Fly [: 00:05:23

So, I decided, okay. When I'm done this job, I'm going to bottle up the stuff that I love without having to do all this admin and paperwork and without needing to live in a residence building for the rest of my life because, you know, then it got a little bit less novel for me. So, the way I did that was I started a business as a professional speaker speaking to students on college campuses around Canada and the USA. And I'm from Canada. So, both end I was bopping around giving those talks. And then over the years that evolved, I started talking not only to students, but also to small businesses, companies.

Blake Fly [: 00:06:04

And the theme of my work has always basically been around how do you build connections and community in creative ways, whether you're in school or at work or in your business, and do it in a way that's energizing and fun and meaningful and makes your life just a good time while you're doing the work. And then my favorite thing that I'm up to professionally is that once a year, I run an event called thank you live, and all it is, is an excuse for me to gather fellow entrepreneurs and leaders to look back on their year, celebrate their progress, and deliver appreciation and gratitude to people in their life by writing cards and sending texts and videos and audio messages in real time so that we don't wait till we're dying to say the stuff to people that make it really fun to be living. So, all that in a bag of gluten free chips is basically me as a speaker, coach, community builder guy, and I'm a husband to the beautiful Emily, dad to the sweet Koa and Summer, and figuring out marriage and fatherhood by the moment because that thing moves. Moves by the day.

Marli Williams [: 00:07:15

Yeah. And to balance that, right, with running a successful business and being a great father, being a great husband, and, you know, building these relationships, which is what you are so exceptional at. So, when it comes to building, you know, a lot of people come to me and they ask, you know, especially I gave a speaking engagement. I just got back from 1. And then I get all these messages from people like, how did you book these speaking engagements? And it's so funny to me because I'm like, okay. When I really think about it, it was like, well, this woman came to Camp Yes, 3 years ago because her best friend came to Camp Yes, 4 years ago, and then she's friends with this woman who lives in Cabo, who works for this company and they were looking for a speaker. Right? Like, every single speaking engagement I've ever gotten is through a relationship. It's through a powerful connection that I made with somebody.

Marli Williams [: 00:08:13

And, you know, my whole talk, this past weekend was all about how to be unforgettable, which I know you've given a TEDx talk called, how to be memorable. Right? And this idea of, like, what I said was when you're unforgettable, you are referable. And I've gotten people reaching out. A woman reached out a couple weeks ago. She saw me speak in 2015. It's the long game. Sometimes, maybe not. But it feels like such a complicated question when people ask me that. Like, how do you book speaking engagements, or how do you build a successful thriving speaking business? And I know that that's something that you've done. That's something that I feel like I'm still working on, working towards. And I just wanted to jam with you on what you've seen work over the years as far as, like, using all of the amazing tools and techniques around finding creative ways to connect with people that have helped you build the business that you've built. And we can just play in that playground for a little while. Do you have any golden nuggets to share?

Blake Fly [: 00:09:23

That's a fun playground. Okay. To the monkey bars with that. Let's go. As you were describing all that, Marli, I was thinking about a story that links to how I started my speaking business, but to sort of frame this up for people listening, it really comes down to who are your people and where are your places. There's people and places, people and places. If we're thinking specifically about building a speaking business, whether it's, like, your future full-time biz or it's just something you want to do some of and make some money doing it, people and places. These are the ingredients.

Blake Fly [: 00:10:00

So, let's get into a little story time. When I knew I wanted to start a speaking business, at that time, I was still working as a residence manager, and some of the people in places I had available were as such. I worked at a university, so I was around students. I was around professors. I was around student leadership advisers. I was around that ecosystem, so that helped. I also kept up some pretty good meaningful relationships with some past teachers, and I wanted to speak to students. So, I had access to the student world where I was already working, and then I also had access to people in my life who worked with students, my past teachers. And so, we'll talk about my teachers in a moment, but let's talk about first at the time in my life, I was around campus life, so I had people in that world, and places I had available to me were residence buildings on campus. There was, like, ten where I worked at the time. So, I decided as a way to get into the speaking business a little bit because I had nothing. I didn't have, like, a website. I didn't have footage. I had nothing. I'm just like, I want to help students. So, is that enough? So, what I did is I built something called the 11/59 tour.

Blake Fly [: 00:11:22

And what the 11/59 tour was is you probably remember, on campus, you would have meetings at, like, 10 PM, 11 PM as student leaders because there were classes going to, like, 10 at night. So, leadership time was like 11 PM. Let's have a meeting at the lounge. So, my 11/59 tour was after those leadership meetings ended, I would do these little workshops starting at 11:59 PM. And I did workshops on anything I was passionate about and I would talk about already with the students. So, I did a workshop on, like, how to get along with your roommate. I did a workshop on, how to make a catchy poster for events. I did a workshop on how to make a presentation in 5 minutes or less. Just anything that I was already talking to students about. And because there were 10 buildings on campus, I did 10 talks across, like, 4 weeks starting at 11:59 PM. And I said, at 11:59, you're going to, like, learn a thing, and there's going to be free pizza. You know, students, free pizza. It's on. So, every time I did this, I picked a residence because I had access to the residences. It was cool. It was, like, part of just my job.

Blake Fly [: 00:12:43

I'd go into, like, one of the little lounge areas or little, like, workshop spaces or study spaces, and I would do a workshop. And sometimes I'd have 2 people, sometimes I have 3 people. So, I think the most I had was like, 8. That was a big one. The 8 person one. And I filmed all of them, and I took pictures at all of them. I gave out surveys at all of them, and I asked for testimonials at all of them. And so, then when I was done my 11/59 tour, which took a month or two, then I made this simple little PDF that had pictures of me and videos of me and where it said, like, places I have spoken.

Blake Fly [: 00:13:19

I just wrote all the names of the buildings. I was like, Blake has spoken at alumni hall, Perth residence, and the name sounded kind of cool. Some were acronyms. It was like the PVC event. So, it looked like, oh, this guy's been places and done some things. But what's cool is that I actually had been some places and done some things because I went around campus and I gave talks. So, the message to the listeners right now is, who are some people that you can say that you want to do this with who could help you. Second, what are some places you could deliver it in? Virtually, you could just, like, throw together some Zoom event or something, or in person, maybe it's the office you already work in or a co-working space. Maybe it's like a local church. Maybe it's literally, someone's living in a condominium, and they've got a cool, like, party room, and you can host stuff there. Just who are some people and where are some places that you can put on a thing and get over the fact that you literally might have a garbage turnout. And, like, that's great. Congrats on your garbage turnout. Invite 1 person per event so that you got 1 guaranteed in there. So, the 11/59 tour was sort of my way of saying, you know what? I'm not going to wait on credibility. I'm not going to wait on getting booked. I'm not going to wait. I want to have a speaking fee. I just, like, called all the shots, and then I had actually a little bit, a tiny, tiny little bit of, this guy's legit, and that sprung me into the next stage of things. I'll talk about the next stage of things in a moment, but I'll pass it back to you in case there's any way you want to, like, turn this conversation.

Marli Williams [: 00:15:03

I love it. I love it so much because I think that sometimes people want to kind of go from 0 to 100. Like, right out the gate. They're like, I want to be a speaker. I want to make 5k a talk or something, and they've never spoken before ever. You know? Or this illusion that, like, it's going to be that big of a jump. And what you're saying I mean, my story is very, very similar. And I will say, start where you are with what you have and who's already leaning in, who's already listening. Are there people in your sphere of influence that you can reach out to, connect with, and starting in the places that where people already have those relationships with them. And one thing that I think that you are uniquely good at is you create these mini projects for yourself, like the 11/59 tour. Right? And you get to decide how big of a deal it is. And I think sometimes we wait for the deal. We wait for someone else to say, you're a big deal. I'm going to create a tour, and we're going to go on it versus, like, I'm going to create a project. I'm going to create this tour and create this momentum. Right?

Marli Williams [: 00:16:23

And I think Tony Robbins has talked about that. Like, when he was starting out speaking, he was like, he would just speak anywhere and everywhere. He would call schools. He would call churches. He would call community centers. And the dude would speak, like, 3 to 4 times a day when most speakers were speaking 3 times a year. And that's the thing too about speaking is, like, I don't care how many books you read, how many videos you watch, how many trainings you take. The only way to get better at speaking is speaking. And it doesn't matter.

Marli Williams [: 00:16:56

And, like, if there's 1 or 2 people in the room, I have challenged myself even on, you know, even in Zoom. It's like I am speaking to 2,000 people. Like, this matters that much. And how you treat 2 people is how you treat 200 people is how you treat 2,000 people. And I think sometimes we wait for the 2,000-person $10,000 gig. And then we feel qualified and credible as a speaker versus, like, really giving yourself these opportunities and creating those opportunities. And that's what you've done, and I think that every single person has people that they can create those opportunities, like you said, whether virtually, in their own town, at community centers, all the examples that you gave. And so, I think it's just like, start where you are with what you have. So good. Solid. Okay. So, those are my little, nuggets that I got from that. But I'm just like, yes. So good.

Blake Fly [: 00:17:57

Start where you are with what you have. It's so succinct. Thank you for that. What I was going to share is sort of the mechanics now of what kind of came from that, which applies, like, at any stage. I mean, I still do this today whether it's to my own work or when I'm coaching people. It's like, just here. Here's a playbook. Take it or leave it.

Blake Fly [: 00:18:16

And the playbook is, okay, how do you actually connect to these people in your circle? Because usually it can be a little bit daunting or weird of like, hey. I've got people, but, like, how do I literally ask them for money or that I want to be a speaker, and I'm currently an accountant. I never spoke. It's just it's funky, especially when it's your network of people that you already know and they know you. So, I always find that this is such a great way to reconnect to people, to make the conversation sincere and meaningful and real, and it's to literally make a list of these people in your life and think of one reason you appreciate them and then tell them. So, when I finished my job at the university, I knew I was going to get into the business of being a professional speaker. Didn't fully know how, but I was young enough that I could just be like, I am not going to go home with my mom and dad for a bit. I'm just going to, like, figure this thing out.

Blake Fly [: 00:19:13

So, I emailed all my colleagues in residence life and probably like you remember. I mean, there's the people at your college or university, but then there's, like, a network of other schools’ kind of within maybe a 1-to-6-hour radius. So, I was in a network of maybe 25 other universities and their residence life department. So, I had built some friendships at the annual conference, and I emailed all of them. Individually, this is key. It wasn't just like a spam push out. It was like 1 to 1 emailing. And let's say you were one of my colleagues back then. It would be something like this.

Blake Fly [: 00:19:50

Hey, Marli. It's Blake. Just want to let you know I won't be attending the annual conference this year. I'm no longer going to be in this role. I'm on to different thing as even though this role has been spectacular, and I love this job immensely. So, since I won't be seeing you at the conference this year, I just want to say thanks for the connections we've had over the past at this annual conference. You were always so great at nudging people to, like, go up and be on stage and, like, put themselves out there at the social evenings with karaoke and things like that, you nudged me one of those times, and I was reluctant, but it made for, like, one of the best moments of my career, so thank you for that and many things like that. Have an awesome conference in case you don't cross paths, again, in person, all the best. Talk soon. Thanks, Blake. Send. So, I sent that. Some people would think as, like, a sales approach, which it wasn't the case. I got this problem about me where when I end a season in my life, I want to, like, tie up with a bow that season however I can. So, I legitimately was trying to complete those connections in case I didn't see them again. What I didn't expect is that all of them replied to me saying, what are you doing now? Well, they first said, thanks. This was a really great email. What are you doing now, man? So, then I told them, I'm going to be starting a speaking business where I speak to college university students about how to successfully transition out of high school and into university and post-secondary life and how to make connections and build community on campus. And some of them either said, cool, that's great, or some were like, cool, that's great. Can you come speak here? We have some money. What's your fee? Or some would be like, we don't even know if we can afford you, but could you come speak? And some were like, I got $50, and I have no more. Would you want to come? Like, I'll give you $50. So, I think with just that “accidental email campaign”, I think I gave, like, 4 speeches and made a total maybe of, like, $9,000, which was sweet for me at the time.

Blake Fly [: 00:21:57

I'm like, holy smokes. I just gave, like, 4 talks and made almost $10,000, and I didn't even ask for, like, a sale. I just was saying thanks, folks. The friendship's been great. Good luck at the conference. So, now to the listeners, you can literally tell people this stuff every day of the week. Let them know their impact, how they've played a role in your life, your career, your relationships. And if you do that consistently, you're kind of always ready to ask for things.

Blake Fly [: 00:22:30

If this is the first time you're hearing of this idea and you've never done this, do it now, not for the intention of buttering people up and then asking for something, but do it now because it's a great touchpoint to just be in conversation with people. The only difference is maybe adding a touch of Marli, it's been a while. I was thinking of you because I remember this time where you nudged me at a conference to go get on stage. It was profoundly impactful on me, so thank you for that. I'm currently venturing into a whole new world professionally, and you're someone that for that reason, you'd, like, kind of just add to my confidence and my ability to just leap when there's no net. If you're open to it, I'd love to cast the vision of what I'm up to next. This isn't a sales pitch. I'm not going to ask you for money. I just would love to have, like, maybe 10 or 20 people, hear me articulate where I'm headed next in my life mainly for accountability and because it kind of freaks me out and because I'd be grateful if you had an idea or 2 of steps you might take if you were in my shoes. You open to that? If not, all good. If yes, let's put it on the calendar. And then you're like gratitude, but also momentum and action combined.

Marli Williams [: 00:23:48

Totally. Yeah. And I love what you're saying about what's the energy and the intention behind the appreciation? Because like you said, we can do this kind of outreach with this, like, ulterior motive angle, or we can really do it with, like, just so much, like, love and gratitude. And what I appreciate about you is how specific you get with the gratitude. Right? It's not like, thanks for being in my world. It's like, thanks for this moment where you helped me overcome this fear or thanks for being there when I was going through this thing. Right? Thanks for even just like I think about people that, like, always, like, thumbs up things on my Facebook post, but never actually comment or something. Even, like, just thanks for your support over the years. Every time that I post something and I see your name pop up, it means the world to me, and I just wanted you to know that. So, it can be short. It could be a Facebook message. It could be on Instagram. It could be email. It could be a text. Like, it can be audio. It could be video.

Marli Williams [: 00:24:55

Like, you can get really creative with these things. But I think this, like, where's the come from? Where's your energy coming from of, like, I'm going to say this so I can get this? Versus, like, how can I just fill them up with love? And that we all have the desire to feel heard, seen, and loved, appreciated, valued. And when you do that for people, I think that there is this innate desire. Like, they want to help you too. Like, they're just like, how can I help you win? It's like giving water to people that are thirsty in the desert. Like, everyone's walking around feeling like they don't matter, and you're just providing a moment where, like, I see you and you matter and you changed my life or you helped me in this way or you know? And I think that that's just such talking about how do you continue to nurture the relationships in your life and how that inevitably, you know, who knows where it will lead? And I think that there's, like, this childlike wondering curiosity of, like, let's just see what happens.

Marli Williams [: 00:26:07

One thing that I think you're so good at is, like, how crazy could I make this? And I know I've seen one of Blake's videos is he does like, instead of a prank call, a thank call, which I love. Randomly scrolling through people on your phone and just like, calling him up, appreciating them right there in the moment. And you've done it on stage, you know, hundreds of times, and I think that that's just, like, again, fun, creative, playful ways that you have continued to nurture the connections and relationships in your life and the amazing opportunities that have come from that. That's what I see in what you're sharing and the power in that.

Blake Fly [: 00:26:44

Thank you for that. I mean, it’s a high compliment coming from you because you make a lot of cool things for a lot of cool people.

Marli Williams [: 00:26:53

Well, I appreciate that. And again, going back to this idea of, like, you had the 11/59 tour and you have, thank you live or in like, you create these containers and projects. Figuring out, like, what is a fun way for people to do that? There was something that you said that I think a lot of people ask about, which I think it's in people's way. And this has gotten in my way as a speaker of, like, what's my talk? What's my message? You hear it over and over and over and again. I heard it on a sales call today. You need your one message. What's the TED thing? You know, the TEDx talk. Like, what's your one big idea? And if you don't have that 1 big idea, you might as well just give up now, people.

Marli Williams [: 00:27:43

So, we've talked about this, like, the talk versus a talk. And I would love to kind of unpack that idea because I think that I see a lot of people get stuck there. And I have some thoughts, but I'd love to hear your thoughts about that.

Blake Fly [: 00:28:04

I remember talking to a colleague in the speaker space a long time ago because he was working on a book, and I wrote my 1st book when I was 25. I wrote my 2nd book, not yet. Maybe someday. But he was asking me about, like, kind of getting it across the finish line because I had made a book at that point. And I said to him, I said, I feel like this is tricky for you because it seems like you're trying to write the book instead of write a book. That's like a whole, whole different assignment to write the book instead of write a book, and I feel like speaking is similar. It's like if you're trying to give the talk instead of a talk. It's a whole different sport. Like, 1 is ridden with pressure. Like, this has to be perfect, and this has to be, like, my last message to the world. And if my great grand kids see this, it has to be just timeless. Or if you approach it, like, I'll have the ability to create a bunch of talks or write a bunch of books or share a bunch of messages or build a variety of cool projects in my lifetime. I feel like it inherently just cools it off a bit. So, if you're head-to-head in some sales conversation or with some speaking agent, they're like, what's the talk? What's the, okay. I get it. You need to sort of be on your toes. In those situations, I always think, however, you can just be the one asking more questions and talking less, the better. Because if you're asking a ton of questions and they're filling you up with details about what they want to see in the speech or what they want to hear in the message, as long as it's true, you can just fully tailor exactly to what they want, like, live in the call. Like, yep. Absolutely. Yes. We can talk about that. You have to be able to, but you can tailor in real time and then go and design the thing for a few weeks.

Blake Fly [: 00:30:02

So, there's that. But just in general, oh, I just got a text, by the way, from Marla. Hey. That's funny. Marli and I met through Marla, and I haven't received a text from Marla in, like, a month. That's cool. So, sidebar. Let me go back within my dog cone of focus now and bring it back. So, giving a talk, I find is so much more meaningful because it leaves the pressure inherently means you have higher self-trust that I've got more in me even after this. And something that I get asked a lot about is TEDx talks because a lot of people apply and apply and apply to be a TEDx speaker. They keep applying and applying, I want to be a TEDx speaker. I've given 9 TEDx talks, and I've applied 0 times. I've never even seen an application. I don't even know what's on it, and we can talk about that some other time, but I love TEDx talks because it's a really cool assignment. It's like, I don't care if it's the talk. I don't care if it gets 2 views or 2,000,000 views.

Blake Fly [: 00:31:12

It's exciting for me to go, okay. What the heck am I going to talk about in under 20 minutes? And that's intense but exciting if it's a talk. Whereas I've still never given the talk. I mean, maybe if I had, I'd be, like, flying around in private jets. I'm not sure, but I've always been committed to giving a talk or write a message because I find it more fun. And even to what you were saying, it's like I make all projects for myself. It's like a 55 year thank you live event and the 11/59 tour and, like, 48 calls in 48 hours for this, like, goal setting project you were part of. I do it because without those creative and artistic structures, I do nothing. I literally do nothing. I just go on YouTube, and I watch Jimmy Fallon audition tapes for Saturday Night Live. So, I have to create these games for myself to go get it. And even right now, I don't do a lot of corporate speaking. My speaking background is more in, like, small business land, entrepreneur land, education land. I've been thinking about if I do want to actively go into the corporate speaking world, I think my approach would just be go on Facebook and be like, hey, Facebook. What do you think are, like, 5 super cool companies? Post it. In the next year, my goal is to speak at 10 of them for their conferences. And I'm just going to go, like, make friends. And if they put gigantic companies like, I don't know, Google, figure it out, Blake, but I really enjoy the pursuit. I don't know if I'll be able to pull it off, but I like the pursuit, and I like knowing that it might bomb and, like, making a story out of that whether it works or fails.

Marli Williams [: 00:33:08

I love that. I think that it's those creative constraints can really drive our focus. Because I think, again, it could be really overwhelming, really daunting. And all of the pressure that I see so many people putting on themselves, I put on myself around the talk, the message, what's the idea. And, yeah, I'll get on a sales call and it's like, what are your challenges and what's going on and what are you looking for? It's like, yeah. I can do that. Sure. I can talk about that.

Marli Williams [: 00:33:36

And I think that your message evolves as you evolve and as you grow and who your audience is. And I think going back to my box of Stowe quotes, it says clarity is a result of action, not a requirement for it. Meaning, the more you speak, the more action you take, the clearer you're going to get. And you're going to get clear, and then you're going to get unclear, and then you're going to get clear again. And it's like, one of my mantras is, even my worst talk could change someone's life. And to me, it's not that I want to give the worst talk ever. It just lets me off the hook of it being perfect. And so many people right out the gate want to give the talk and, like, never make a mistake and have it be, like, the most perfect thing in all the land. And I remember, I think, Arel, my 1st speaker coach, said he's like, your first 100 talks are going to suck. Get over it. And he's like, hopefully, they're not going to suck to your audience, but they're going to suck to you. Because it's almost like you know what you're capable of, but you're not there yet. But the only way to get to that 100th talk is to give the 99 other talks. To get to that place of, like you said, I really feel I mean, I've been speaking professionally now for 8 years. And before that, was speaking to students and wilderness guide, but, like, as an entrepreneur for 8 years and, yes, like, this past weekend, I gave a keynote, 300 people, group of realtors. And it was probably one of the best talks I've ever given.

Marli Williams [: 00:35:12

But what I felt in my body was, like, I feel like I'm finally starting to trust myself and trust the enoughness of my message, of my heart. And I freaking love this so much, and I'm going to find it right now as we're talking. Because I use this amazing tool called Talkadot that Arel created. Have you used Talkadot, Blake?

Blake Fly [: 00:35:38

No.

Marli Williams [: 00:35:39

So, at the end, I ask, you know, one of the things my talks about leadership and I say, well, I'm going to practice leadership right now and ask you all for feedback because great leaders ask for feedback. So, that's kind of how I get them to like fill up and there's a QR code. I fill it out and they can write in little reviews, testimonials. Right? And one of my big things that I work with speaker coaches a lot on, like, my mindset around this, like, I don't feel like I have this, like, tragic, wow is me, rock bottom moment. My life has been, you know, and then I turned it all around moment. I got this feedback and I was like, this is the thing that I feel like I've been needing to here for years, and it's just gold. So, what this person said, loved this. Not a traditional look what I have overcome in my life story. Just a great training that we don't need to overcome things and have a tragic story to have a positive attitude and change your mindset. And that was one place that I see again, a lot of where I've gotten stuck and where I see people get stuck is the compare and despair land.

Marli Williams [: 00:36:49

Everybody else has a better talk. Everybody else has a better story. Who the heck am I? Do people care? Will they listen? Does it matter? And hearing that was just such confirmation and affirmation of how much I've grown and just learn to embrace my own brand of magic. And I feel like you do that really well. Like, this is who I am. This is my jam, and I'm going to own it. And that's what people relate to is that that level of authenticity and that vulnerability. And when we can let go of the illusion of perfection and the talk and the idea, and we just start, like again, one of my other mantras is show up and serve. Just show up and serve people. Like, how can I help people right now in this moment? And we can do that by getting on Facebook, doing a live, getting on Instagram, posting something on YouTube, like, creating something that's going to help somebody at the end of the day instead of again, you can either create the stage or wait for the stage.

Marli Williams [: 00:37:51

And I feel like you've given really great examples of, like, create the stage and, like, build it and make a project of, like, how many talks do you want to give in the next 30 days? Let's freaking go. Get into the arena. Instead of saying I want to be a speaker, be a speaker. Just start doing it. Like, instead of someday, one day when I have the message and the talk and the website and I have it all figured out, then I'll start speaking. Versus in order to figure it out, I have to, again, start where I am with what I have. So good.

Marli Williams [: 00:38:25

Oh my gosh. So many golden nuggets. I feel like we could talk for days and hours. I would love to hear from you. I mean, I know that we talked about building a successful business through the fine art of creating, you know, creating fun projects, connecting with amazing humans and appreciating them and their impact they've had on your life. I'm curious what final thoughts you want to leave people with today to take out into the world and where people can find you and learn more about how awesome you are.

Blake Fly [: 00:38:56

Well, I'll leave this as the final marker because it might help with the bold claim of finding $100,000 out of this episode over the coming years, so.

Marli Williams [: 00:39:04

Take it.

Blake Fly [: 00:39:05

One of my favorite movies ever is 8 Mile from Eminem. And if you haven't seen it, spoiler alert, the final scene of 8 Mile, there's a rap battle, and, basically, Eminem raps all about his inadequacies, just total rip on his failures in life and everything, and, therefore, his opponent has nothing to say in his rap back to Eminem because Eminem said it all. And so, I'm saying this because if you want to get into speaking and get paid to speak or just opportunities in general, but we'll talk about paid speaking for a moment. Lead with all the stuff you think people might expect of you that you just know you don't have yet. It's like, click here if you want to see my demo video. And, like, make a link and make a selfie video on your phone of, like, hi. I don't yet have a demo video. And, like, an explanation about that or explaining, like, why you've chosen not to build it yet. And it's like, for my speaking fee rates, click here. And something I love to do often when I'm in a new phase of business is, this keynote is going to be $3,000, and I'm going to waive that because for the next 3 months, I'm going on a tour to hone my content because I've added some new material. I'm going to do all of these for $900 a pop as long as they take place between March and May. And you can leverage what you don't have by owning it and calling it out. And then if you go do 50 talks at $2,000 or 100 talks at $1,000 or 10 talks at $10,000, you know, do the math, but just lead with the stuff you know you don't have and boldly call it out and be willing to get a rejection because some people love how refreshing that is. And reducing a fee or putting it on certain days, it makes it easier for them to say, you know what? Let's do this. You seem cool. You send us a video. We had a call. Like, you don't seem like an axe murderer. You can speak in full sentences. Let's do this thing. But lead with the stuff that you know you don't have and that people might expect to see because that is so rare. So, if you want to see Blake world a bit more and all the things I don't yet have, easiest place to find me is Blake Fly on Instagram. Just at Blake Fly. Or my website is blakefly.com, and that kind of shows the Willy Wonka world, that is me and my projects. So, Marli, thank you for your friendship and for this hangout.

Marli Williams [: 00:41:43

Thank you so much for sharing so much knowledge and wisdom, and I love the bold claim. And my bold call to action for anybody who is listening is to take something that you learned here and do something with it even if it's just sending 1 letter, note, message of gratitude or appreciation to someone in your life. And if you do that every day for the rest of your life, your life will be radically different. I really truly believe that. And the second one is, create a project around building your speaking business. Whether that's like doing a post like you said on Facebook of like, hey. What are some cool companies or where are places in the Pacific Northwest that I could speak or in Portland or wherever you live. Put that out there and figure out, like, how many talks do you want to give in the next 30 days, 3 months, 6 months, in this next year and, like, decide and commit and then take bold, crazy action to make it happen. And I think that that's what you've done, and that's what I've done. People ask me all this, how have you built this business? I feel like just winging it.com. The other thing about wanting to get booked and paid to speak is just be really good at what you do and care about people.

Blake Fly [: 00:43:00

Yeah.

Marli Williams [: 00:43:00

And the only way to get really good at what you do is by doing it and getting in the arena and showing up and doing your thing and doing it the only way that you know how to do it. So, I'm just, I'm grateful for you, Blake. I'm grateful for our friendship, I'm grateful to continue to learn and grow alongside you, with you. Thanks for sharing your knowledge and wisdom on the podcast today, and thanks everybody out there listening, take some bold action, make actions where the magic happens, as I like to say. So, can't wait to hear what unfolds from you, for you from here, and until next time. Take care.

Marli Williams [: 00:43:36

Thank you for joining us on another inspiring episode of the Marli Williams podcast. We hope you're leaving here with renewed energy and valuable insights to fuel your leadership, coaching and speaking endeavors. I'd love to invite you to subscribe, rate, and review this podcast to help us reach more aspiring leaders and speakers like you. We have more exciting episodes and remarkable guests lined up, so make sure to tune in next time. Until then, keep leading with purpose, coaching with heart, and speaking with conviction. This is Marli Williams signing off. See you next week.