Let’s Lead Together: My Journey to EPIC Leadership -01

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Marli Williams [: 00:00:00

Hey, everyone. What's happening? I am super stoked to welcome you to the Marli Williams podcast where we will explore authentic leadership, transformational facilitation, and how to create epic experiences for your audiences every single time. I am your host, Marli Williams, bringing you thought-provoking insights, expert interviews, and actionable strategies to unlock your potential as a leader, facilitator, and speaker. Thank you for joining me on this journey of growth, transformation, and impact. Let's Lead Together. The Marli Williams podcast begins now. Let's dive in.

Marli Williams [: 00:00:42

Hey, everybody. What is happening? I am super stoked to dive into this podcast journey with you. This podcast is really all about leadership. And one of the questions that I get asked often is, how did you get to where you are now? What was your journey of transformation? How did you become a speaker, and a facilitator, and start leading events and workshops, and retreats? And so, I thought I would kick things off by sharing my story with all of you. My journey of leadership over the past 20 years that I have been diving deep into studying transformational facilitation, and how to really hold space for people to grow and change and transform their lives through workshops, retreats, and events. And so, that's what I'm going to do today, and welcome to the show. Welcome to the journey, and I'm super stoked. And I hope that it helps you kind of see yourself in your own leadership journey, whether you're at the beginning, the middle, you've been doing this work for a long time. I hope that there's something here for you.

Marli Williams [: 00:01:58

So, my journey begins when I was 19 years old. I decided to go on a 50-Day Outward Bound course. And for those of you who don't know what Outward Bound is, essentially, I decided to go into the middle of the woods with a group of people that I didn't know for 50 days. That is almost 2 months. When I was 19 actually, during my freshman year of college, I had a mentor. My freshman year, she was the director of the leadership center on campus, and her name was Sarah Thompson.

Marli Williams [: 00:02:35

And I thought that Sarah Thompson was like the coolest human being I'd ever met. And she had done this thing called Outward Bound. And I was like, well, if I'm going to be as cool as Sarah Thompson, I'm going to go do this outward-bound thing. You know, my freshman year of college, I really had no idea what I wanted to do. And so, it was really this opportunity for me to literally go into the woods and find myself. And while we were on our outward-bound course, part of the experience was having a 3-day solo. I was in the middle of the wilderness by myself for 3 days. No food and just enough water to get by, a little tarp, a sleeping bag, not a whole lot.

Marli Williams [: 00:03:20

I remember getting dropped off and it was dark, it was raining, it was thundering, it was lightning. I definitely thought I was going to die. And, I mean, to be honest, I was terrified to be alone. I mean, it's one thing to be in the wilderness with a group of people, and it's another thing to be in the wilderness on your own. There I was with me, myself, my thoughts, my journal, a pen, and I had a lot of time to reflect. And one of the things that I love about things like Outward Bound or retreats is that they give us an opportunity to step out of our life, and reflect on our life without actually being in it, without being in the day-to-day distractions, and overwhelm, and all the dings and buzzes and rings, and it really gives us a chance to reflect on our life. And I remember I wrote in my journal that my mission on this course and in my life is to help people realize their full potential. When I was 19 years old, I wrote that in a journal, and at the time, I probably had no idea what that meant, what that would mean, what that would look like.

Marli Williams [: 00:04:30

It wasn't, I didn't write down I want to be a motivational speaker, you know, or I want to lead a retreat. So, it was just my mission on this course and in my life is to help people realize their full potential. And that has truly been my mission ever since. If I really look at what the thread and the through line is to everything that I've done, it really comes down to that. And that's what leadership is all about to me, is helping people realize their full potential to see an opportunity or something or someone to be better and holding and creating that space for that potential to be unleashed and fulfilled and explored. And I remember coming home from that Outward Bound course and just being so lit up. You know, I remember my instructors, again, just like Sarah Thompson, my Outward Bound instructors were these just remarkable humans. They were facilitators of transformation.

Marli Williams [: 00:05:24

I remember coming home from that Outward Bound course and going to my parents and being like, I figured it out. I figured out what I wanted to do with my life. I want to take people in the woods and make them cry, which is essentially what I do for a living as a professional camp counselor, transformational facilitator, whether it's in the woods, whether it's in a classroom, whether it's in a big conference center. The idea of why it's like I want to take people in the woods and make them cry is when we are expressing and feeling that level of emotion, that is when transformation occurs. It's not a requirement for it, but when it does happen, it's helping people shift out of all of these places where they feel stuck, where they feel alone, where they feel held back, and really holding and creating the space. You know, one of my big philosophies as a transformational facilitator is like, I am a stand for transformation. Meaning, when you walk out of this room today, you will be different than how you walked in it. And my mission on this podcast is really to help people like you, leaders, speakers, coaches, facilitators, really unpack, really understand how to deliver, facilitate, create a transformational experience, and what the difference is between a transactional presentation and a transformational experience.

Marli Williams [: 00:06:58

And so, after that Outward Bound course, I was like on a freaking mission. I was like, okay. This is what I want to do, and I started researching all of the best outdoor education programs in the country. And I applied to different schools because at the time, I was living in Illinois, not the most outdoorsy place in all the world, and I ended up transferring schools in my junior year to University of New Hampshire to major in outdoor education. So, I tell people I, like, legitimately have a degree in being a professional camp counselor. I took classes like group leadership and winter backpacking and white-water canoeing and top rope rock climbing, and challenge course management, and studying outdoor education, it was really the idea was using the outdoors as a means for creating personal growth and transformation. It was all of the metaphors of, you know, what does it mean to do things that are outside of your comfort zone, to challenge yourself, to self-awareness, self-reliance, group dynamics, communication, leadership, goal setting, motivation, and realizing, like, what you're capable of. When you do something that scares you, when you push yourself, when you're in an environment that's unfamiliar and you don't think that you can make it and you do. Or, you know, how do you ask for help along the way? All of these things that as a wilderness guide, I had a mentor say to me and then I would tell this to a lot of my students is, they would say, if what we do out here doesn't make you a better person when you leave here and you go home to your “real world life”, then I have failed you as a guide.

Marli Williams [: 00:08:49

And that's one of the philosophies and the principles of outdoor education is what's called the transference of learning. Meaning, you know, what did you learn on that rock climb where you didn't make it to the top? What's a time in your life where you went for something and it didn't work out or you “failed”. What did you learn about yourself? Or what did you learn about yourself when you were scared of rock climbing from that crazy potato chip rock in Wyoming, and realize, like, it's okay for me to be scared, and I can keep going. I don't have to let fear stop me, but learning that fear is just a part of the journey. So, how does that change how I navigate my life when I leave here? Oh, I can do scary things and be okay. And so, again, I majored in outdoor education and got to study with incredible mentors and incredible people who were masters of their craft. And I remember, you know, one of my mentors in college, her name was Lori Gillian, and she was just a phenomenal facilitator and mentor and guide.

Marli Williams [: 00:09:58

I remember being like, I want to be there now. I want to be that amazing right now. And she had been doing this work for decades. And the reason why she was so good at it is because she had done it for so long. It was just such an important reminder to any of you out there or at the beginning of your journey is, you know, we want to be able to, like, get on stage and be the best speaker ever for our first talk or deliver our best workshop for your first workshop or your best retreat ever for your first retreat. And it's like the only way is through. The only way that we learn how to do this and the only way you learn how to be a better speaker is by getting on stage and doing the thing. And that's one of the things I loved and appreciated about my program is because we got so many opportunities to lead different groups in different ways to get feedback.

Marli Williams [: 00:10:54

One of the parts of my college degree was that I had to do a summer internship. So, the summer after I graduated, I moved to Breckenridge, Colorado, and I did an internship at the Breckenridge Outdoor Education Center, which is an adaptive outdoor education learning environment. It has accessible ropes course for people in wheelchairs. I worked with people who had multiple sclerosis, who had cancer, who had brain injuries. I worked with all sorts of people, and, really, it was like having the outdoors be accessible for all and learning how to facilitate outdoor experiences for different groups from different walks of life. And I loved living in Breckenridge, and I loved being a wilderness guide. And from there, I did a lot of seasonal work whether it was 3 to 6 months, did wilderness therapy for a while, I lived in Salt Lake. I worked at the Women's Wilderness Institute.

Marli Williams [: 00:11:49

I did all sorts of different jobs, one of which was apprenticeship at the Eagle Rock School in Estes Park, Colorado. It was an AmeriCorps fellowship. That's what it was. And it was a yearlong commitment where I worked at a residential high school with students, they were not successful in traditional education for whatever reason, lots of different reasons. And my job there, I was at the outdoor education fellow, and we led 21-day backpacking trips for incoming freshmen as their orientation to the school and really learning about themselves and about leadership and about being a part of a team and a community. And it was one of the most amazing jobs I've ever had. It was one of the hardest jobs I've ever had. I had an incredible mentor there again.

Marli Williams [: 00:12:42

His name was Jacques, and I learned so much from him about how to work with students that were challenging or who grew up in challenging environments and really be a guide and a mentor and a role model and a leader for them. I loved these immersive learning environments, and I cannot emphasize the importance enough of having a guide, having a mentor, having someone who is better than you to learn from. I mean, that is part of how I've got to where I am today. Hands down. After Eagle Rock, again, I kept working at these seasonal outdoor education jobs. And while I was looking at jobs, I saw this hosting. It was a director of outdoor programs at Dartmouth College, and I was like, that sounds pretty great. You know, I was in leadership in college.

Marli Williams [: 00:13:31

I was an RA. I loved working with college students, and I love the outdoors. And I thought that that would be a great next step to take, to move beyond the seasonal work as this wilderness guide and really step into a more director role. And I remember looking at the required degrees, and it said master's in education, specifically in student affairs administration, which I had never heard about before, but I was like, okay. Applied for grad school, and I only applied to 1 school because I really wanted to go to Colorado State University. And I found out on my 25th birthday that I did not get in to grad school. Heartbroken. I was living in Boulder, Colorado at the time.

Marli Williams [: 00:14:12

I became a full-time barista, which was actually one of my favorite jobs that I've ever had. I love coffee. I love making people happy. I love connecting with people. Great combination of things. Applied to grad school again. Three schools this time, Colorado State, Western Washington University, and University of Vermont. All beautiful places, all have these amazing student affairs administration programs.

Marli Williams [: 00:14:37

And luckily, I got into grad school at Western Washington University in Bellingham, which was what brought me out to the Pacific Northwest. And I remember walking around Bellingham, walking around the campus, and just feeling like, oh, this is home. I loved the energy of the Pacific Northwest, the people, the vibe, and while I was in grad school there, I got to do my internship in the outdoor center. And one of the things that I learned while I was in my undergrad is this thing called outdoor orientation programs. And Western Washington University was a huge recreation mecca. Bellingham with the mountains and the hiking and the kayaking and the skiing, I decided in my internship to create an outdoor orientation trip program that ultimately, I called WOUT, which stands for the Western Outdoor Orientation Trip Program. It was a week-long backpacking trip with incoming freshmen to really help them build courage and confidence and community as they entered in this new community, this new journey. I love the idea of, like, rites of passage. Right? You're leaving behind the familiar.

Marli Williams [: 00:15:50

You're taking this new adventure. You're creating a new identity, leaving home for the first time, and really providing them a place to land. And that trip was profound for me, for the students, and I was like, this is what I want to do. I want to continue to run this program. Meanwhile, I graduate with my master's degree, and that was part of my internship. And I got a job in a different department on campus as an academic support coordinator working with first generation college students. So, I was pretty much like a life coach for college students and helping them navigate the university and find their passion and choose their major and learn things like goal setting and student success and motivation and all the things that maybe students who didn't have parents who went to college, they didn't always learn, or have those skills coming in. So, I get this job and I said, I fully accept this job and I want to keep this program going on the side.

Marli Williams [: 00:16:51

So, I was able to continue to run WOUT and have this full-time job at a university in this beautiful town that I love to live in. And WOUT kept growing bigger and bigger, and we went from 1 trip to 3 trips to 5 trips to 7 trips, and it was becoming bigger than what I could handle kind of on the side. So, I put this, like, 20-page proposal together, and I said, this is how I could make my position sustainable, and here's how it could pay for itself, and here's the retention rates, and here's all these things that the people at the university care about. And to make a very long story short, they ultimately ended up hiring someone else to run the program that I started. And I was devastated. You know, I thought that that was my goal, you know, to run an outdoor door program at a university. That was the mission, and I was just totally heartbroken. I created this thing from scratch, blood, sweat, tears, time, weekends.

Marli Williams [: 00:17:51

I created the training and the curriculum and the content and the different types of trips, and it was something that I loved. I believed in the students that went on the trips and the community that got built from that whole program. From that point forward, I made a decision that I never want to create something that can get taken away from me because it wasn't mine anymore, even though I had created it. And that, as heartbreaking as it was, was really the catalyst to my journey as an entrepreneur. I started leading my own retreats and putting on my own workshops. And people started asking me to speak at different events like the employee of the year ceremony or celebration. I had friends who worked at different universities and colleges, and they would invite me to speak to their students at the leadership conferences. And one of my jobs actually was hiring speakers to come speak to my students.

Marli Williams [: 00:18:58

And I would, you know, invite them out to lunch and pick their brain and ask them to be my mentor. And I hired a coach to help me really figure out, like, how do I get paid to speak ultimately. And I found mentors. I found communities. I found coaches. I started going to this event in Portland, Oregon called the World Domination Summit, where I met other entrepreneurs and leaders and speakers and coaches and, like, just diving into this world of what would it look like to go out on my own and lead my own programs, workshops, retreats, events. And I decided this was going to be my last year in my job and I had to prove to myself that I could make money doing this work. So, in my last year at my job, I was able to generate over $10,000 in business as a speaker and a coach and leading retreats.

Marli Williams [: 00:19:55

It was like a combination of different things. And ultimately, that gave me the confidence to leave my full time steady stable job from the university, and it's hard to leave something that is familiar, that consistent. And you hear so many stories of people saying, like, I had this corporate job that I hated and I finally left it. You know? And the thing about it is I didn't hate my job. I loved working with the students that I was working with, but it just felt limiting. I felt like I was being held back, like there was something more out there for me, and maybe you have felt that way in your life. Like, one of the things that I oftentimes tell people is we don't have to wait for our life to suck to want to change it. My job didn't suck.

Marli Williams [: 00:20:43

I was just ready for more, and yet there are fears. There are doubts. Can I really do this? Can I really be successful? And I remember it was the fall before I was going to leave, and there was an opening for being a professor in the leadership studies department. And I was like, oh, well, maybe that's like kind of like a halfway like a stepping stone. Like, I can work part time as a professor, teach a class or two. Still be connected to the university as this kind of like safety net. And I applied for the job. I had to do a demonstration of teaching, and ultimately, I got offered a position to be a part-time professor. I really had to sit with myself and make a decision about what to do. And I thought to myself, the only reason I would take this job is out of fear that I couldn't really make it on my own. That I had to have the safety of the university to fall back on.

Marli Williams [: 00:21:47

And so, the only reason I would take this job was because of fear. And I decided, I walked into this woman's office who was a mentor of mine who had offered me the job, and I turned it down. And I told myself, I want to go all in on me. All in on my dreams, on my goals, on my hopes, on my vision, all in. Not half in, all in. That was a bold move and a bold choice. And here's the thing that I remember telling myself. Literally, the worst-case scenario is I go out on my own.

Marli Williams [: 00:22:28

I quit my full-time steady stable job. It doesn't work out. I run out of money, and I get another job. That is the worst possible case scenario. I have 10 years of experience, a master's degree. I could get a job in higher ed if I wanted to, and I had to tell myself that because it was scary. It was terrifying. I had never sold a thing in my life, you know, other than, like, all these experiments that I was trying, but I still had a job while I was doing that.

Marli Williams [: 00:22:58

t should I say? And he said, $: 2500

Marli Williams [: 00:23:35

e how much it is. I just say $: 2500

Marli Williams [: 00:23:54

do it. And then I upped it to: 3500

Marli Williams [: 00:24:20

in the budget. So, instead of: 3500

Marli Williams [: 00:24:53

y full-time job at the end of: 2015

Marli Williams [: 00:26:26

And a facilitator, the root word of facilitate is “facilis” which means to make easy. And the idea of facilitation is how do I make it easier for people to grow, to learn, to transform. How do I facilitate this meeting, right? How do I make it easier for us to meet? And, ultimately, more meaningful, more engaging, more thought provoking, more powerful. And I really wanted to create a podcast and a place for people who are in any sort of leadership position. And the idea is, like, you know, it can be lonely at the top. It can be lonely to lead. It can be lonely to be a community builder, to lead a team of people, to be a speaker. The tagline for this podcast is let's lead together.

Marli Williams [: 00:27:16

And I really want to help other leaders, coaches, and speakers cultivate their ability to create transformation in other people's lives and interview mentors of mine, guest experts, people who geek out on facilitation, on transformation, on leadership. And one of the things that I love as I reflect back on my journey is just, again, how many mentors I had and how one little insight or strategy or tool or perspective can change the way that you lead. And so, you know, my hope is to provide some amazing interviews, again, actionable insights and tools and tips, techniques, takeaways, and things that you can integrate and apply right away when you listen to this podcast. My hope for our time together today is that you got to learn a little bit more about me, about my background, about my journey, about my story, what brings me to this work, why I love it so much, why I'm so passionate about it. And my hope is that you will join us on this journey and that you will learn things to help you do what you do even better than you already are. So, thank you for joining us today, and I can't wait to see you next time.

Marli Williams [: 00:28:42

Thank you for joining us on another inspiring episode of the Marli Williams podcast. We hope you're leaving here with renewed energy and valuable insights to fuel your leadership, coaching, and speaking endeavors. I'd love to invite you to subscribe, rate, and review this podcast to help us reach more aspiring leaders and speakers like you. We have more exciting episodes and remarkable guests lined up, so make sure to tune in next time. Until then, keep leading with purpose, coaching with heart, and speaking with conviction. This is Marli Williams signing off. See you next week.